It's Not Cool | Jonas Brothers

Chapter 20

The song Hesitate obviously isn't written for a sister of the Jonas family, and I'm not trying to bring their song down. Hesitate is amazing and definitely one of my favorites from the album!! I hope you like it!

Pippa's P.O.V.
"Kiss the tears right off your face
Won't get scared, that's the old, old, old me
I'll be there, time and place
Lay it on me, all you're hold, hold, holding"

"Time, time only heals if we work through it now
And I promise we'll figure this out"

They promised me they'd help me with my illnesses. That's exactly what they're doing. Nick and I are helping each other and Joe, Kevin, Frankie and our parents are helping us both. I think Nick and I helping each other is the best thing that either of us has.

I need him more then I need myself.

"I will take your pain
And put it on my heart
I won't hesitate
Just tell me where to start"

Joe turns to look at me. I know he wants to take my pain away, but he can't. All the boys want to take my pain away. We are so cursed. It's like we don't deserve the lives we got. It's stupid though. Mom and dad strongly believe that we get what we can handle. I find that nonsense.

Why would you put someone through so much pain, only because they can handle it? I can't handle this. They should know better.

"I thank the oceans for giving me you
You saved me once and now I'll save you too
I won't hesitate for you"

Nick wrote this part for me. I stuck with him after he got his diagnoses of Diabetes. I studied every single leaflet and website dedicated to Diabetes Type 1. I learned every single thing there is to know about Diabetes.

I learned what numbers are good and what numbers are not. I learned how to test his blood sugar; I learned how to use all the devices and how everything on the kit is called. I learned how to administer insulin shots and I learned how to connect his Omnipod and to turn it on correctly.

I learned when to give him a glucose tab if there is no other option. I even learned how he could test himself for ketones if he is too high. I wanted to know it all. My family had been really helpful and supported me in wanting to know everything I could to help Nick. They always helped me learn even more if I wanted to know.

What foods he can eat, which foods he can't eat. I learned how to bolus for him. I studied the foods he preferred on their amounts of calories and sugars to know which have more effect on his blood sugar.

I even know how to properly read his dog tag. Not that I haven't memorized the information. It's all important, of course I've memorized everything into the smallest detail.

I'd been so deep in thoughts that I'm sure I had missed multiple looks from the boys. I'd seen them look at me, but I didn't respond. Too busy with my thoughts and organizing them as I heard the song enter my ears and my mind.

"Don't you ever say goodbye
Cross my heart, and you can keep, keep, keep mine
If I could only read your mind
Then I could map out all the ways to make it right"

"Time, time only heals if we work through it now
I, I promise we'll figure this out"

I watch the boys sway over the stage and interact with the crowd. They really know how to play the crowd and get them all along to what they're playing.

I looked into the audience to see the majority of the girls crying. I can't blame them. I'm also touched by their performance.

"Pull me close and I'll hold you tight
Don't be scared 'cause I'm on your side"

Frankie is on my side and he puts his arm around me. I look up to him and wipe away a tear while letting out an embarrassing laugh. I'm embarrassed of crying. Why am I crying? It's not like I haven't heard the song thousands of times before. They'd been practicing and playing this song for months. Not that I've ever seen them play it, but mom once recorded this song secretly when she was watching them and she send it to me and Frankie.

I've watched it a lot. Every evening after I went to bed. Every lunchtime in the bathroom. They cheered me up. Listening to them calmed me. Especially this song now. It is by far my favorite song of the album. They wrote it for me.

"Know there's nothing I wouldn't do for you"

I would do anything and everything for these boys. I can't imagine a life without them anymore. I used to be annoyed by them all the time. They were the typical older and annoying brothers. Especially Joe. Pulling my hair for fun, pranking me, tickling me, playing hide and seek and letting me hide for hours because he 'couldn't find me'. Yeah, right.

They are now up to their last verse. After, we will rush off to the venue where they'll be playing a show tonight. I'm looking forward to it. Frankie and I will be next to the stage to watch them. We aren't allowed to wonder off, not that I'd like to wonder off while they're playing. I haven't seen them play like this for months. Maybe even a year or longer. It's been too long to be honest.

They huddle together on stage before erupting into the last verse.

"I will take your pain
And put it on my heart
I won't hesitate
Just tell me where to start
I thank the oceans for giving me you
You saved me once and I'll save you too"

I saved Nick's life when I found him knocked out in his room. He had a low, but everyone seemed too busy to notice his absence. I had gone up to his room. I'd frozen up at first but knocked myself out of it. I made sure I didn't go into panic mode. I ran to his kit and with my broad knowledge on the subject I knew exactly how to help him in his time of need.

"I won't hesitate for you"

Neither won't I hesitate to drop everything and run to your sides if you need me.

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