Just Breathe

Chapter 11 {Thoughts}

It had been two days, two days without a call and the fear that something was terribly wrong. He just needed to hear her voice.

"Dude, you're pathetic," Peter commented when he stepped into Jonathan's apartment and saw him sitting on the couch, flipping mindlessly through television stations.

"Bro, you're pathetic," Tommy repeated, initiating a chuckle from Peter and a fearsome glare from Jonathan.

"Go play in your room, Bro," Jonathon commented and smacked Tommy on the rear when he stood up. He looked back at Peter who took Tommy's seat on the couch. "I haven't heard from her in two days, she hasn't been at the center either."

"Maybe she's taking a few days off. She's probably on vacation or something." Peter guessed coolly, although he knew Jonathan wasn't about to buy it. "Let's go out tonight."

"No," Jonathan answered immediately while continuing to flip through stations.

"Come on, what harm could it do?" Peter smiled and despite Jonathan's constant pleas, Tommy was at the neighbors and Peter had invited two girls to go dancing. They were walking down the sidewalk, Peter had a short blonde girl with small brown eyes on his arm while Jonathan was set up with a blonde haired girl who looked nothing like the girl that was on his mind. He kept glancing down at his cell phone, just hoping it would ring.

"Waiting for someone to call?" The blonde asked with a small smile, obviously feeling as if the date was one-sided.

Jonathan quickly shook his head and forced a small smile, not wanting to be rude despite the fact he had no say in the date and wanted to be anywhere else. "No, not really."

"So...then I'm just boring you?" She guessed with a small laugh and Jonathan couldn't help but smile in return. The girl really was sweet and she was beautiful, there was no doubt about that but despite the fact that the girl was practically perfect, it was hard to connect with someone else when his head and heart had already been tethered.

"I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just..."

"With someone else?" She guessed, a sweet smile still playing on her lips.

Jonathan nodded but quickly corrected her. "Yes, but well, not technically. I mean I wouldn't be here if I was with someone but my head...my head's definitely with someone."

"I figured." The girl nodded and giggled at his stuttering.

"I really am sorry. You can ditch me if you want. I mean, I probably would if I was you." Jonathan smiled, offering the sweet girl a way out.

The girl shrugged and stuffed her hands into her pockets. "It's perfectly fine with me. I just got over a rough breakup so a purely platonic date sounds pretty great right about now."

They both stopped in front of the dance club that Peter and the brunette had entered and turned to each other. "If you want to ditch, I could pretend that we just took off somewhere so your friend doesn't give you crap about leaving."

Jonathan chuckled. "I guess it's pretty obvious he's kind of my handler tonight, huh?"

The girl lifted her hand and put a small space between her thumb and index finger. "Just a little." She smiled back at him before lifting her hand. "Guess I'll see you later?"

He nodded with a small smile. "Yeah, maybe. And thanks for being so understanding."

The girl shrugged with her hands tucked into her back pockets. "It's what I do." She turned and continued walking down the sidewalk. Jonathan stared at her, his head in a complete fog. He was completely shocked at the fact that he had let that girl walk away. She was perfect and beautiful and clever but for some reason, it just didn't matter. He tried to pretend like he didn't know what that some reason was, but he knew that reason was her. She was the reason he didn't care about dating anymore, she was the reason he could watch a perfect woman like that just walk away because he already met the perfect woman. There was no denying that she was perfect for him. No matter how much he should have, there was no denying it.

~

He couldn't get to the treatment center fast enough Monday. If she wasn't there, he was going to have to ask about her. He was going to find her and tell her everything and just make sure she was okay. It was like his life was no longer his anymore. Everything he did and everything he felt was tied to her. If he thought something was wrong with her or if she sounded distressed on the phone, he couldn't get to sleep that night. If she was snarky and stubborn on the phone one day, he found himself feeling great the next day because of it. He needed to know she was okay; which is why he spent that morning scrubbing the windows outside of 110 for the fourth time. He couldn't miss her when she walked in that room, he had to see those big brown eyes and that hair that fell perfectly just below her shoulders. 

He briefly glanced at each person that entered the room, letting his eyes wander back to the spotless window in front of him but when he saw her; his eyes were glued to her. He was unable to focus on anything else but her and he felt his heart sink into his stomach when he saw the large red mark across her face and the black and blue hand prints across her neck. He assumed it was easy for most people here to assume she had done it herself. Why wouldn't a person who was threatening suicide try and strangle themselves or even slap the side of their face for the hell of it? It was easy to assume but assuming things often left a lot to be discovered and he was positive he had already discovered the truth.

~

"She hits you, doesn't she?" The line went silent and he could almost feel her eyes widening at his accusation as she stuttered over her words through the telephone. 

"W-what?"