Just Breathe

Chapter 28 {Phone Call #10}

"There is a time to wait. 

There is a time to act. 

There is a time to say what you feel and a time to hold back. 

There is a time to let go and a time to hold on. 

There is a time to feel and there is always time to heal. 

Wherever you go and whatever you do, life will always make time for you. 

Time to heal and time to feel, 

time to hold on, 

time to let go, 

time to hold back and time to speak, 

time to act and time to wait 

but no matter where you go or what you do, 

always remember to close you eyes...

...search your heart...

...and just breathe."

Two hands came together, filling Riley's small room with a light sound of applause. She smiled back at Dr. Linda and lowered the notebook in her hands. It had been almost one year since her last breakdown, one year since she last tried to kill herself and one year since she last saw Jonathan. 

She changed a lot in one year. 

She accepted help and she had grown stronger. 

Her heart was lighter and her hair didn't have as many split ends. 

Most people around the hospital would have said that she went through a complete transformation, but she wasn't so sure she believed that. Then again, she wasn't sure she could have believed any different. 

She felt better than she had in a very long time, she felt happy even. 

She hadn't spoken to her mom in nearly a year but, unfortunately, she had to say that it was for the best. She wasn't sure what made her mother decide to just let her go but whoever she had to thank for her mother's sudden transformation,  she was eternally grateful. 

Recently, Riley's discovered a new interest in writing. Dr. Linda suggested she find some way of expressing herself. Dr. Linda said that was most likely why she called the crisis center so much, talking was a way for Riley to express how she was feeling and, at times, express her anger towards her mother through sarcasm. Riley went through a whole slew of different techniques for expressing her inner demons; painting, music, dancing even but then she was re-introduced to the one thing she had forgotten all about; the one thing she loved more than anything...writing. She wrote anything, everything; poems, stories, journals and sometimes, she wrote letters. These letters were all addressed to the same person and not one of them had left her bedside table. They remained hidden in a drawer as if they were some forbidden secrets she didn't dare disturb. 

Not a day went by that she didn't think about him but then she remembered that he had probably forgotten all about her and suddenly, along with her thoughts, came that feeling of not being able to breathe.

"I am very proud of you, Riley. You have found a way to communicate your feelings and thoughts and I must say...it's beautiful. You have a natural talent and I think it's ready to enter the world."

Riley stared at Dr. Linda's large smile a moment before finally processing what she was saying. "I'm free to go? I'm fixed?" The words coming out of her mouth sounded childish.