Just Breathe

Chapter 19 {Pills; Minus The Thrills}

"Where the hell have you been?!" 

Riley's breath caught in her throat as she swallowed back air and slowly turned to face her mother after stepping through the front door of her house. She was always home before her mother, at exactly four and she would always spend the next hour until her mother got home calling the crisis center and talking to Jonathan on the phone, but that day was different. She had spent all day with a wonderful guy who she thought had the horrible luck of being named Bob. He was sweet and gentle and she would never forget her first time with him on the roof but the bad thing was that when she was with him, she lost all track of time and she ended up forgetting that her life wasn't the perfect dream she felt it was whenever he was around. She had problems and she had a mother who would use any excuse to put a bruise around her neck or a red mark across her face. "I-I was at the treatment center...my session ran late."

Riley's mother rolled her eyes while she swung a bottle of beer around in one hand. "You wouldn't even need to be going to that fucking treatment center if you hadn't been so stupid. You shouldn't have been so obvious with that suicide crap, your woe is me is really starting to get pathetic and if you hate life so much..." By now she was standing just inches from her daughter, smirking at her drunkenly. "...why the hell are you still here?"

That was it, that was all Riley could take. She was through. She was fed up and she was completely broken, no longer hanging on but free falling into an empty black hole. She quickly pushed past her mother and ran up the stairs to her room, holding back the tears until she was behind closed doors. She doubled over as a pain shot through her stomach like earlier that day when the boy on the other end of the telephone line had broken her heart into tiny pieces. She sobbed for what seemed like hours before finally standing up and rushing into her bathroom. She flung open the medicine cabinet and pulled out a bottle of pills; the bottle of pills. 

She had been saving them for this exact moment; the moment she realized she was through forcing herself to live and she was through telling herself to just breathe.

~~~

"Save me, Jonathan...please...open your eyes and breathe...just breathe..." 

Jonathan awoke with a jolt and the voice haunting his dreams quickly faded as he sat up in bed, breathing deeply as sweat rolled down his face. He had been having dreams of Riley more regularly lately, but none had sounded so urgent, so desperate. 

He quickly picked up his cell phone beside his bed and began searching through his recent calls. "Come on, Riley...pick up..., please."

It went to her voicemail and he immediately cursed at the phone, trying a few more times but getting nothing. The phone lines were his only way to contact her. He had no clue where she lived or who she hung out with all he had was this phone and the treatment center. Those were his only ties to her and he had no way of knowing how to make sure she was okay. All he wanted was to hear her voice, that was all he needed now.