Your girlfriend had a crying problem.
And the "she's just sensitive" excuse never fooled you one bit.
She cried over the littlest things!
She cried several times over food or drink being spilled, and in one case she cried over forgetting to water the plants for one day. You've always consoled her and told her it was okay, but deep down inside you knew it wasn't. It wasn't healthy or right for her, but you just kept putting up with it.
You laid awake that night, thinking about how to help her. But even so, you never came up with anything. It just made you more uncomfortable.
"Toko, how come you always cry all the time?" you asked quietly as she was crying. She didn't answer and kept sobbing.
"Toko..." you said again. No answer, just the same damn tears.
You didn't want to tell her to stop, because it would basically imply that you'd never cried before or had actual human emotions.
Sometimes you wondered if she cried more than she did anything else, even breathing.
That morning, you woke up and went downstairs. Being a cranky person in the morning, you were hoping that Toko wasn't going to cry because you didn't feel like dealing with her crying bullshit, especially when you were in a bad mood.
But nope, she had to be on the floor in the living room crying. Like, literally weeping. You could see the tears dripping down on the floor. Something more serious must've happened since she was crying more than usual. She probably dialed the wrong number on her phone or something.
You roll your eyes. "What the hell is it now?"
"I-I.. l-lost s-something," she sobs, frantically wiping her tears.
"Toko, I've really had enough!" you yell. "When will you ever stop fucking crying, dammit?! I can't be with someone who cries 24/7! Toughen up, for god's sake!"
You storm off, leaving her still on the floor in tears.
-
Surprisingly, Toko hadn't shed a tear in the past few days following your blowup at her. You were partly happy that she'd learned to control her crying problem, but it was kind of concerning you, because she hadn't smiled at all either.
However, all your good opinions on her new behavior quickly changed.
Toko started to basically become emotionless. If you asked her for something, she would say "Y-Yes, (Y-Y/N)..." and go on with doing whatever you asked her.
If you asked her if she was feeling okay, she would nod quietly and leave. You couldn't even tell if she still wanted to be with you.
You wondered, did your words affect her that much?
You were thinking about apologizing for yelling at her, but you didn't think that you were the reason that she was acting like that.
Toko also started to stop taking care of herself. She kept getting herself hurt, and by the end of the week she was covered in cuts and bruises that you had bandaged and taken care of yourself, her afterward not even saying a simple "thank you."
One day, you spot Toko in the backyard on her knees struggling to murder a family of possums which she had trapped in a small pen. Her bandaged arm was raised with a knife in it, but you snatch the knife from her hand before she could make any bad decisions.
"W-What the hell, Toko?!" you yell, dropping the knife. She starts to breathe heavily like she was going to cry, but you could tell she was trying to hold it all back. "Why are you acting this way?!"
"A-Admit it," she couldn't hold her tears back anymore. She squints her eyes in what seems to be emotional pain. "I-I'm not y-your 'b-beautiful a-and a-amazing g-girlfriend,' w-whatever the f-fuck you say t-to try t-to make me f-feel special! I-I'm.. I'm j-just s-some sentimental b-bitch who c-can't stop c-crying, r-right (Y/N)?!"
You're so taken aback by her words that you stumble backward.
It was you.
You were the reason that Toko was now broken inside.
As a girlfriend, you shouldn't hurt your partner's feelings to the point where they just become emotionless, like you're dating a wall.
But that's exactly what you did.
"T-Toko, you know I didn't mean to do-" you start, but are quickly interrupted.
"B-But y-you did, (Y-Y/N)! D-Do you know h-how much I've w-wanted t-to die these p-past f-few days?! I-I've tried s-so hard t-to live up t-to y-your standards, b-but n-nothing's e-ever enough..." she interjects as tears trickle down her cheeks.
"I'm sorry!" you hug her tightly. "I-I didn't mean for it to go this far.."
"Y-You d-don't love m-me," she says, her voice breaking at the last word. "Y-You'd.. you'd r-rather have s-someone else who c-can actually c-control their emotions..."
"I don't want anyone else. I want you."
"(Y-Y/N)..." you let go of her as she wipes her tears. "I-If you d-didn't mean to h-hurt me, w-why did y-you.. y-yell at m-me..?"
"I thought you were just crying over something little, as usual..."
"(Y-Y/N), d-didn't you know t-that t-the bracelet I-I lost was f-from m-my m-mom..? S-She g-gave it t-to me b-before s-she took h-her last b-breath. I-It wasn't j-just s-something little... i-it kept m-me going e-every day. Knowing t-that she w-was w-watching o-over me every time I-I looked a-at that b-bracelet w-was j-just so c-comforting."
You frown.
How could I have been such an idiot? you thought to yourself.
Toko was coping with something difficult, and you didn't even do anything to help her. You didn't even have the decency to ask what was wrong. You felt horrible. In your mind, you were horrible.
"I.. I'm sorry, I had no idea..." you mumble shamefully. She shakes her head.
"I-It's okay, (Y-Y/N). Y-You d-didn't know."
"Even though I didn't know, I shouldn't have lashed out at you like that. I'm sorry... can you forgive me?"
"I guess..." she says, looking down at the ground. You lift her chin so that you were both face to face.
"That's not good enough," you smirk.
"N-Nothing's e-ever g-good enough for y-you, (Y-Y/N)," Toko laughs. She pecks you on the lips, making your smile grow bigger.
"Hey, how about we go inside?" you say, taking her hand and helping her up.
"S-Sure thing," she nods, smiling brightly.
After that, Toko didn't cry that much anymore. You were proud of her, even though you only need to be proud of little kids when they stop crying over everything. When that day passed, a once in a lifetime thing happened.
She started to wear her smile more often than her tears.
6/26/19
reedited; 8/7/21
and the award for the worst girlfriend of the year goes to...
(Y/N)!
YOU ARE READING
Toko Fukawa x Fem!Reader One Shots!
Fanfiction[***NEW REEDITED CHAPTERS WILL BE CONSTANTLY PUBLISHED UNTIL THE BOOK'S STATUS SAYS IT IS COMPLETED!***] attention; this was originally an ongoing one-shot book that went on for about two years before I finally decided to take it down. although i am...
