46. Broken Family

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I didn't expect to go this direction BUT I promise the next chapter will have more Queen in it :) I miss writing with them in it

...

Madison

Roger joins my side, as I sit on the front step outside. I knew we shouldn't have come. Yeah Roger needed to meet my family, but there was always tension when I called home so I kept putting it off and off. 

Roger slings his arm around my shoulders, kissing my temple. He doesn't say anything, but his presence is nice. 

"I'm so sorry," I whisper. 

Roger sighs. "Maddie you have nothing to apologize for," he tells me. "I love you and I really do like your family. I just - I know that there are some things going on, and that's fine," 

Knowing Roger, he probably wanted to curse Jay out or throw something at him. I don't blame him. I wanted to as well. But I'm glad Roger tones it down around me. 

"Jay was never like this," I promise Roger. My mind flashes back to our childhood and how everything used to be. He was always involved with the outcast group, but he was such a friendly and bright child. We got along great. 

"Maddie," Roger sighs. "I think Jay is - well I think he's struggling with something," 

"Drugs, Rog," I spit out, realization hitting me. I stand up, Roger's arm falling off my shoulders. "I just want to talk to my family real quick and then can we leave?"

Roger nods, standing up as well. "We can leave whenever you want. Just say the word," he tells me. He leans forward and pecks me on the lips. I smile at him, sadly, before entering the house again. 

"I'm so sorry about him," Mum says to both me and Roger when we enter back into the sitting room. Dad and Jay are gone, and James and Jesse are sat on the couch. "He's not normally like this. I don't know what's gotten into him," 

"Mum," I say, sitting on a chair adjacent to her. Roger leans against the arm rest of the chair. "I think he's fallen down some...dark path," 

All of the color washes out of my mum's face. She must know deep down, but hearing it out loud is a whole other story. 

"He needs help," I tell her. She doesn't answer. "Do you hear me? He needs to get clean," 

Mum sighs deeply. As she's about to say something, a loud crash interrupts her. I flinch at the sound. 

"Jesus," Jesse mutters. 

I stand up and quickly race through the house to find the source of the noise. I start to worry someone got hurt.

"Dad?" I yell as I make my way to the back, towards the garage. "Jay?"

I push open the wooden door to the garage. Dad stands next to the car where one of the windows had been bashed in. Jay stands opposite him with a bat in his hands. 

"What the fuck?" I say loudly, entering the room. 

"Maddie, go back inside," Dad snaps at me. 

I ignore him and walk towards Jay. He looks at me with half open eyes, his face flushed red. 

"What's wrong with you?!" I yell at him. I push his chest with both of my hands. My frustrations are surfacing. I want to help Jay but I don't know how so everything comes out in anger. "Why would you do that?!"

"Maddie," Mum calls from behind me. 

"Get the fuck away from me!" Jay yells at me. 

I move closer, despite him trying to get away. I put my hands on his shoulders and force him to look at me. 

"You need help," I tell him. I swear I see a moment of realization licker across Jay's features. "I know what you're doing and you need to get help and to get clean. I don't even know you anymore!" I say quietly, but harshly, to him. 

"Know me?" Jay spits back. "I don't even know you! First you move out and barely keep in contact. Then you get yourself a rich boyfriend and enroll in some fancy school? I mean what are you-"

"What does Roger or what school I'm going to have to do with this?" I cut him off. I take my hands off his shoulders and cross my arms. 

"Because life just seems to hand you everything. And you don't even have the decency to come back to where you're from. We were there for you first. Now where are you? With your new family?" 

My face flushes. I feel myself becoming flustered. "Life does not hand me everything," I say back to him, trying to keep my voice at a reasonable level. "I moved out to live in a shitty house because I got a job offer in London. I could barely afford to pay for it. And I started dating Roger before all the fame. I don't care if he's rich or famous. I would never take advantage of someone like that. And I enrolled in a 'fancy school' because I wanted to pursue a difficult career. I'm paying my own way through it, believe it or not," 

My eyes brim with tears from frustration. Is Jay blaming me for his drug addiction? Is he seriously trying to compare our lives?

"I never sat around the house like you did," I continue. "I never got with the wrong crowds. I never skipped school to sleep. I was proactive and I went out there to build the life I wanted. When life hands you an opportunity, you fucking take it. You don't just leave it to rot. That would be a sin, a sin Jay," 

Jay just looks at me with his mouth slightly open. Silence engulfs us, no one knowing what to say. A tear rolls down my cheek and I wipe it away with the back of my hand. 

"I love you. You know I do. You don't understand how hard it is to see you like this," I say so softly I'm not even sure if he heard me. 

"You don't understand how hard it is to be like this," Jay whispers. He drops the bat, causing a clanging sound to ring through the air. 

"Then get help. Don't compare my life to yours, Jay. Make your own because you have such potential to do great things. Don't fuck it up,"

I turn on my heel, tears threatening to spill even more than they already did. Roger follows me, hot on my heels. I didn't even realize that everyone had followed me in there. All I know though is that I need to leave. My heart aches that me leaving had something to do with Jay falling down some dark road, but I can't stay here right now. I make a promise to myself to visit soon though and to check in frequently. Jay might not be in the right in this situation, but he was correct about one thing. I pushed my family away. I didn't realize they needed me as much as they did. 

"Come on, love," Roger says. He takes my hand and we walk through the house and out to his car. I hastily get in, the tears now fulling coming out. I don't think leaving is the best option, but I need time to think and recuperate. 

"I love you," I whisper to Roger when he starts driving. I stare out the window, looking at my hometown pass by. Roger reaches over and grasps my hand, entwining our fingers together. 

"I love you too," he says. "So much," 

My heart aches for so many different reasons. I knew lunch was a mistake but I didn't think it would take this route.

 The worst part is I don't even know how to fix it. 

...

I second guessed myself so much writing this chapter - more than any chapter before. Please don't hate me if it's not good lol

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