Ehehehehe whoops it's been three years since I last updated but that's ok, right? So I am three years older but hopefully they are just as immature as the last ones.
Conversation starters:
76. "I think one of my nipples, is like totally dead! I mean it has a hair but like maybe it's just a growth and um maybe I should but some super sparkly glitter on it that would be nice, yeah?"
77. "My fallopian tubes are SOOOO not in a good mood today..."
78. Grab their face and squeeze it, then proclaim "Orange juice for everyone!"
79. Address them by the name 'Smexy Mario' and help them plan a mass murder of the Koopa Troopas.
80. Lift your arm up and shove their head in your armpit. Rub all your sweat on them like you be basting a Thanksgiving turkey. Add a good lug of olive oil, a pinch of himalayan sea salt and a few sprigs of rosemary and thyme. Roast in a preheated oven at 190 degrees celcius for 1 hour 40 mins, or until crispy and golden. Serve and let the compliments roll in from delighted family members.... But they're next ;)
81. Recite to them the famous poem by epic poet Evelyn Fongster:
'Twas the yonder glen of sixty nine
Mufasa was to be mine
I carried the white dragon to the blood
Of down under because there was a monthly flood
Screams of pain from the cave
Bad nipple! You must behave
I need to go apply cream onto my eczema
But nothing really rhymes with eczema
Because it's a weird word eczema eczema eczemaaaaaaaaa
EGGS, MA yooooooo
82. Ask them "what came first, the chicken or the egg?" When they answer start rapping the famous rap by Evinem, "but.... The chicken is a fricken and it is quite fingerlicken' and the egg has no legs but it sure does like to beg, to be poached or be broiled or to be buried in the soil but like no! No! I'm vay-gun! no! I dun eat animal products..."
83. Discuss with them the leaked nudes of Papa Smurf.
Author's note:
Ok, that's all I can think of for now, vote and comment if you want me to finish. Sorry for never updating people!!!!! :( but... I'm back baby with three extra years to cram even dirtier information into my dirty mind. :D
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101 ways to end an awkward silence
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