In Real Life ✓

49. Why Are We Still Here? Just To Suffer?

"So... DukeCockroach, Mia Sophia and JakeAtStake, welcome to the show!"

I felt like I was dreaming when the real Eddie fucking Austin turned to look at us. He looked like Christmas had come early, with those laugh wrinkles around his eyes and his straight, white teeth, bared in a grin. As if we were the TV celebrities.

I hardly remembered walking up to the couch when he'd called our names, the applause and whistling from the audience still ringing in my ears. I turned my head to glance at Jacob, who looked just as nervous to be here, if not more. He may have been one of the most popular YouTubers out there, but he told me half an hour ago that he was actually very introverted and didn't like crowds at all. He was really stepping out of his comfort zone by coming here.

Mia looked fine, though, despite arriving mere minutes before the start of the show, which made sense. She'd been going around doing things like this for a while, inviting hundreds of people to fan meetings and all that. It was daunting... to think I'd probably be doing the same soon.

"It is so good to have you all here," Eddie added fondly, to which Mia replied, "Well, I'm honored to be here!"

I simply nodded to support her statement and she moved a few strands of her brown bob behind her ear as she looked at me and Jacob with a friendly smile.

"So this is the first time I have a bunch of internet celebrities on the couch," Eddie said, after which the audience whooped and clapped once again. "It's so wonderful! I've wanted to have you guys on for ages. How does it feel? To be on TV?"

"It feels... unreal," I said.

"Yeah, and this is all very new to you, isn't it?" he asked, getting straight into the interviewing like the professional that he was. "Since you recently revealed your face to the internet and everything. Do you regret your decision or are you happy you did it?"

"I am happy," I told him after a moment. "It was scary, but I definitely don't regret it. I have a lot more opportunities now."

"It was quite the revelation," he said with an amused chuckle, before asking Mia and Jacob, "Did you witness the chaos she caused?"

"Oh, yeah, everyone was talking about it," Mia said. "I have to admit I didn't know much about DukeCockroach before, because I'm not that active on Twitter, but I quickly found myself scrolling through her Tweets for hours!"

"She does that, doesn't she?" Eddie laughed. "It's like she puts you under her spell!"

I felt my face heating up from pure disbelief... These two super famous people thought my Tweets were like magic? What the fuck.

"You never like or retweet anything, though," I said.

Eddie let out the thunderous laughter he was so famous for and replied, "You caught me red-handed, Eve! I don't! I just read, mostly."

"Ah, you're a lurker."

"Indeed I am. You've been following her for a while, though, right, Jacob?"

"Yeah," he said softly. "You're one of my favorite accounts, Eve."

"Thanks," I replied bashfully.

Eddie went on to ask Mia and Jacob some questions, yet somehow always involving all three of us in the conversation, even if Jacob wasn't even half as talkative as Mia. It was amazing to see his natural talent for asking questions and entertaining a whole audience at the same time. There was never an awkward moment.

He asked them about their journey to their current success and I was surprised to hear that Jacob's parents hadn't been supportive of his decisions whatsoever. Since I'd only started watching his videos since last year, I had no idea that he'd been living by himself since he was eighteen years old. And at first, I could only think about how I would turn eighteen in a few months myself and that I definitely didn't feel like I could just go and live somewhere all on my own, but then I remembered that that was exactly how Gilbert had been living for the past few months.

It made sense why he looked up to him so much.

"So what are your plans for the future?"

Mia tossed her leg over the other, crossing her ankles, before replying, "I have a book coming."

And here I was with my measly merchandise. A wholeass fucking book. I watched in awe as she told Eddie about the book she was writing, though I couldn't remember a single thing later, but I snapped out of it when he asked me the same question.

"Oh, I um, I don't really have any plans, I think, but... I'm currently working on some merch."

"That's wonderful!" Eddie said, eyes twinkling. "I've been looking for a new shirt to sleep in! My wife says the old one stinks."

The audience laughed and I looked at the two girls and the woman in the front row who were smiling at me—Leslie, Tamara, and Charlotte. The latter looked rather smug, actually. She must be proud of herself for predicting that this would be the best time to announce the merch. I almost rolled my eyes.

"Speaking of partners, I've been meaning to ask you, Eve... You are asexual, right?"

Ah... Here we go.