Finding love as an asexual teenager is hard enough. Being an anonymous internet celebrity? Even harder, but it's fun as long as it stays anonymous. Eve didn't expect her Twitter account to blow up, and now that 'DukeCockroach' has millions of follow...
"That's fantastic," she replied. I wasn't quite sure if it was sarcastic or not.
"Why are you here exactly?"
She grabbed her lunch and started eating it right then and there, completely ignoring my question for a whole-ass minute. Tamara threw me a what-the-hell look from across the table and I shrugged. I had no fucking clue what Felicia was doing, either.
Before she could take another bite, I said, "Felicia, I asked you a question."
"Yes, I heard you."
"So?"
"I am here because I wanted to ask you a question as well."
"Get in line," I said, rolling my eyes.
"It's personal."
Tamara looked even more confused now, but she was the only one still interested. Leslie was texting with someone on her phone and the guys were talking to each other about something unrelated. Good. I still couldn't say much if Tamara was listening, though.
"I see," I replied, hoping that Felicia would know that I was well aware of what she was implying. That's what I was assuming, at least... I mean, what else than our stupid little boyfriend feud would she be talking about?
"Does the promise still stand?" she asked.
Right. Okay. I'd promised her nothing other than that, so I was probably right.
"Of course."
"Good."
"Can I say something, Felicia?"
"What?" she asked, eyes widening in shock and flying to the other people at the table—mainly Tamara, who was watching us like a hawk. Oh, I was right for sure.
"I'm impressed."
"What, why?"
"I'll tell you later."
This was reason enough for her to stay seated and wait until the end of lunch break before teetering behind me as I walked away so no one else would hear. When she asked me what I'd meant, I said, "I'm just impressed by how well you've managed to hide it so far. I was the only one who found out. Obviously. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but it's kinda hard to keep things a secret from me."
She scoffed and muttered something under her breath.
"What?"
"I said, what are the odds? Of course I managed to piss off DukeCockroach, of all people! I'm really sorry for trying to steal Gilbert from you, by the way. I really am. You two are clearly very happy together."
I nodded thankfully, though I had a feeling a part of her was only saying sorry because she just wanted to be in my good graces. Was she that scared of me? Was she really scared that I would tell everyone about her secret relationship?
"You should tell your brother, you know?"
"Why on earth would I do that?"
"Because he's going to find out sooner or later. Might as well throw it out there now, and you should be the one to tell him. If you like Ash enough to stay with him, that is."
For a moment, she only sighed to herself. Dramatic Felicia sighs that only Felicia could sigh. Clearly, she had no idea. I suppose that was the curse of being a manipulative bitch without feelings. Alright, well, maybe she had feelings, but she was still a manipulative bitch. I heard she started a fight with some girl last week, so that's great.
Maybe I should ask Ash if he even wanted to stay with her, now that I thought about it.
"Do you?" I asked her.
"I don't know. I kind of... like him, I guess? But telling Thomas seems like such a bother. I'm surprised Ash hasn't told him, honestly. I mean, I told him not to, but..."
"Actually, I don't care. Good talk," I said, slapping her back.
Her jaw dropped and she reached for her (probably searing) shoulder, and I only smiled sweetly at her as I walked away. It wouldn't be my fault if this got out now. People were bound to notice sometime. Not just Thomas. This was recipe for disaster, but I wasn't going to fix it for her. I had other things to do.
I had my own relationship with issues to fix.
I ignored every single person that asked me for autographs and other bullshit and eventually started telling each and everyone of them something like, "I'll do a fucking meet-and-greet one day, okay? Now leave me alone."
We were at school. Not vidcon.
When school was finally over, I went to Gilbert's locker, only to find it closed and not a Gilbert in sight. A few lockers away was Tony, a trustworthy informant, I hoped, so I walked over to him and asked, "Hey, do you know where Gilbert went?"
"Oh, he said his parents asked him to come home."
Bullshit. Gilbert's parents would never ask such a thing. They didn't even live here. He was just running away from me, wasn't he? What the actual fuck.
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