BACK TO YOU (Fully Updated)

Chapter 4: Lucas

© rainthereader 2012 All Rights Reserved

Chapter 4

Lucas

It was always hard to fall back to sleep after an episode.

But thank God the guys from the store arrived a few moments later and we arranged the newly-bought seats in the living room, giving me time to put myself back together, if just for a while.

I received a nice offer from Shannon's sixty-something-year-old neighbor who was selling his place before migrating to Canada to be with his children and grandkids. The house was a two-storey Tudor and built somewhere in the 1930s. It needed some serious renovating, though.

The moment I obtained the keys and made the first step inside the house was the instant I considered it my home. I directed my construction team to work right away and we replaced the dilapidated roof, peeled the wallpapers and substituted them with bricks, and restored the antique furniture and chandeliers. We replaced the old bathroom fixtures with modern ones and changed the cooling and heating system. I also decided to add a couple more rooms on the first floor, expanded the kitchen, and added a breakfast room to the west side of the building.

It was hard labor. But seeing all of it now made everything worth it. And the couch and the high-backed chairs were the final touches.

I headed to the bathroom for a shower. Closing my eyes, I let the water relax my muscles. It had been a while since my last dream of her. Nightmares consumed my nights for a year after the incident. It always started out differently but never failed to end the same. With blood and shouting.

There were times after that difficult year when I would wake up after an episode and the feeling of depression would slither back. Like I was existing for nothing. But then I gave myself mental punches in the face and fought back with my emotions so that the emptiness wouldn't consume me.

The past had been buried. And I was determined never to muse over the hurtful memories again.

Moving here in Atlanta was a good thing. Since Shannon had been assigned back in the States after working and living in London for seven years, I had never felt more at ease with my life. I missed my sister when she was away and finally being able to see her and Lizzie all the time made my living here worthwhile.

And there was Blair. My constant companion, the person who also helped gain the energy that I lost, the one who unconsciously gave me the push to become better. I didn't tell her what I went through though; she didn't need to hear the ugliness of my past. She made things easier. She made me feel better. And that was good enough.

But I couldn't shake this particular dream away. It was one of the clearer ones, like high definition clear; that I had that included Chloe. Those entrancing, emerald eyes looking up at me. Even in my dreams after all these years she still took my breath away.

It was one of the memories tucked in the deepest sections of my brain. The day when we both got off early from work and we were eating chocolate cake and she began to play with the icing. I tickled her because she was messing with my face and I carried her on my shoulder while running around the apartment. She was very ticklish, squirming and smacking my back the whole time. And God, how I missed her. If only I could turn back the time.

But no. I shook my head along with the unbearable thoughts. I couldn't dwell on the past. Even if it meant never thinking about how her laughter sounded, or about how it felt to hold her hand, or see the look in her eyes. Yes. I could do that. I had come this far. I mustn't go back.