I've hit a downhill in my life. I do not want to do anything and give up in life. I hate myself for thinking this way, but I'm hoping I will be able to release some of the pain in me, for I can stop wanting to cry so much. I was going to see a therapist before everything went down to help me figure out my emotions and clear my dark mind. It felt so late, and I think more destroyed throughout this moment in life. The only way I can figure out to release some of the pain and throughs is through my writing. I know my writing isn't good, but it helps me not rip my head off. It calms me down when I'm crying my eyes out and feel so alone in this world that I don't want to be here anymore. I shouldn't be saying this online, but it's true. That's how I feel. I want to find myself and improve in my life without negative people. I want to walk into a room and say I'm enough for myself. Walk away like a nasty bitch that can fuck anyone up. That's what I want. I want to rebirth my mind to a positive and happy mindset that doesn't look at insecurity. Be reminded that I have a broken soul that destroys everything that makes her happy. I want to not look at that or break the last bit I have inside of me. I went off topic again, but you get the point of me. Throughout this book, I will explain why I feel this and what is next for me.
Martinez, N
April 21st 2020
