Le Madame Red

I'm so lost...

"I'm not sure why I agreed to do this," Grell rolled her eyes. She was sitting next to William. Opposite to her was Adrian. Opposite to William was Vincent. They'd agreed to go on a double date, of sorts. Much to everyone's agony.

"Because I thought it would be fun?" Adrian sighed. It wasn't the first time he'd had a terrible idea and it wasn't the last.

"No one can hate you for trying," Vincent smiled. "But we do make an odd group of people."

"Adrian told me you were a stripper, is that why you wear so many layers of clothing? So you can take them all off slowly, painfully, in front of your prey?" Grell stared, eagerly awaiting the answer. She might need a turn signal before drastically changing the topic like that.

"Might be one of the reasons," Vincent returned the stare.

"I'm the only one without a dirty secret," William sighed. Coming here was a terrible idea. He didn't fit in with this type of crowd. He wasn't nearly hot enough for them all.

"Oh I wouldn't say that," Grell's mischievous grin returned. "I did some investigating into you. I've found your dirty little secret."

"Oh, do tell," Adrian was curious.

"I'm intrigued," Vincent admitted.

"William here was quite the star on the interne-"

"Ah!" William covered Grell's mouth with his hand. "That wasn't me! That was my sister. I did look a lot like her, we were twins, but it wasn't me!" William confessed.

"Were?" Adrian noticed the past tense.

"She, well," William choked up a bit. "She isn't with us anymore," he finally said. There was an awkward silence at the table. Way to go Grell. You really are a royal fuck-up.

The sound of silverware touching plates was the only communication among the four. Grell wasn't sure if she should apologize or not. "I used to have a sister," Vincent decided to save the day with more depression. "She was a fencing master for a while. But then she got drunk and grabbed the wrong sword. It was a tragic accident," he said.

"I'm an only child," Adrian admitted. "Actually, I'm not sure. I'm an orphan. I never really had parents."

"My father was a bastard and my mother was a bitch. No surprise how I turned out," Grell sighed.

"Good to know nobody's perfect," William let out a strained laugh. The awkwardness continued. The pain of the situation only got worse, as a familiar face to the double couples walked up to their table, uninvited.

"My, my, look what we have here," the voice said.

"Sebastian," each member (except William) groaned while saying the name.

"Never thought I'd see the three of you together. Imagine that, two high school lovebirds and my former coworker, it's a small world," Sebastian didn't sit. He just stood glaring down at them. What a dick.

"Sebastian? What are yo- oh hey roomie!" Lau slung his arm around Adrian. "Fancy meeting you here," he grinned from ear to ear. Adrian, once again, could smell the sex, drugs, and other things on his breath.

"I'm so lost," William muttered. He couldn't keep up with all of the relationships. Adrian and Grell had been together? Vincent knew Sebastian? Lau was...a roommate to Adrian? Did he get this all right? He didn't know any of these people and more just kept coming. Maybe he should've stayed home. He should've trusted his gut. Why didn't he? His cat. He wanted his cat. Forget society. He wanted his cat.

"What are you doing here?" Vincent got straight to the point.

"We were here for the special drink menu, Lau insisted," Sebastian pointed to the giant sign by the bar.

"Oh?" Adrian wasn't that interested but the menu was colorful and he appreciated that.

"We didn't interrupt anything did we?" Lau released his grasp on Adrian. "You would tell me if we had, right?"

"Of course he wouldn't, he isn't that type of guy," Vincent interrupted. "I, on the other hand, will absolutely tell you both to royally fuck off." Vincent raised his glass exactly like Leonardo DiCaprio in The Great Gatsby. William, Grell, and Adrian all looked at him like he was a hero. A knight in shining armor.

"Always the charmer, aren't you, Earl Phantomhive?" Sebastian returned the 'fuck-you' grin.

"As are you, Butler," Vincent replied.

"Are those your stripper names? Because last time I checked earls outranked butlers. And, if you ask me, Vincent's got a lot more going for him than you," Grell took a sip of her tea. Vincent was far more attractive in her humble opinion. The truth was the truth. What else could she say?

"Oh shut up, I don't need to hear that from you, girly boy," Sebastian spat.

Something happened at that table that was the least likely to occur. The individual you wouldn't expect to stand up and defend Grell was exactly the person who did. That individual punched Sebastian square in the face, sending him flying over the table and out the window.

"I'm so sorry for my mentally challenged friend," Lau bowed with his apology. His knuckles bled with the force of the punch. "He means no real harm, I promise," Lau scratched the back of his neck and sighed.

"You're bleeding," Adrian held out a napkin.

"Thanks," Lau grabbed it. The angry shop owner ran out to greet Lau with violent and racist profanities. The two retreated to the backroom. Lau would try his best not to get the police involved. He was a great diplomat, actually, contrary to popular belief.

"That's not going to be pretty," Vincent turned his attention to the body on the sidewalk.

"At least our food isn't damaged?" William offered.

"This was a disaster, let's all agree to never do this again," Grell sighed.

"It wasn't that bad," William tried. "Okay, nevermind, it was, but... we can make it better next time?"

"You are the absolute worst at trying to lighten the mood," Grell sighed again. She stood up and walked out the broken window. "Keep your hopes high and your standards higher, darlings!" she waved as she left. William had a moment of conflict. He placed some money in Vincent's hands, more than enough to cover both of their meals, and ran out to chase Grell.

"Could this be any worse?" Adrian slammed his head on the table.

"Of course, but as far as terrible get togethers go, I've had worse than this," Vincent gave Adrian a good solid pat on the back.

"Thanks, I guess?"