The Letters that were marked with a heart

letter 7 (Lea's Pov)

(church alone visiting grave 15th)

'Dear Leo,
I can't get the images out of my head. Running and punching don't stop them. They used to but it's all gotten too much. I left boxing last week, I feel sad because I won't see Sonia again but what can I do about it. I am crying, panting hoping it will all go away but it doesn't. Day after day it gets louder, faster stronger. Even though there is no direct reason I'm leaving, there is a lot of them. And they are building by the day, I think something is going to happen at Oliver's party. That's why I don't want to go. I went to see dad today, for the last time next time I will see him in spirit. I wish we had walked that day or got the bus. Or a train. Just anything but what happened, it was 1 year ago today. You met Dodge in the rain a week today last year. I always liked Dodge even though he bullied me, he looked out for both of us where possible and kept Quinn off your back by taking a few punches himself and Fiona off mine. I have to leave...

So this is farewell Lion. Pandora xx'

It's the next day my head hurts and straight away I read a text from Josie, it's official I am squee going out with squee Simon the friendly Giant xx Isn't it amazing xx.

I type out oh my goodness Jo that is amazeballs, so proud and happy for you xx and send it. I hear Dodge in the hall and he sounds sad, I heard his ringtone from Eve a moment ago and I can only guess that something is wrong. I plunge into a pair of long blue faded denim dungarees and a long sleeve white t-shirt with patterned pink hearts on it made up of smaller hearts. I open my door and see Dodge pacing at the top of the stairs, "Are you alright? What is wrong Max?" He looks up his amber eyes have faded beneath his tears and he opens his mouth, "It's just another bad memory day, and Eve wants to make sure I am okay so she'll be here soon. I don't know what to wear? Can you help me?" His voice sounds so small but I put my arm around his shoulder, with me leaning on tiptoes I guide him into his room. Then he says it's due to be cold today, I nod and get out a pair of black jeans and a short-sleeve white P!ATD shirt and a blue hoodie. He gets changed and I wait outside although he says I don't have to but I do anyway.

Then mum says Eve and Oliver are here, we go down me first. I hug him and make sure he is okay, "If you don't feel up to this today I completely understand. And I'm here for you if you need anything okay? I love you, Maxwell." I kiss his cheek and he nods. "I should be okay." We walk into the kitchen to see Eve in her full goth attire and Oliver in his skater boy uniform. "Come here bro, it will be okay. I will stay with you today and if you like we can go get ice cream and watch a movie or whatever you would like?" She hugs him and he just nods, "I would like that Eve, but I..." I shake my head, "You go and have a sibling day, rest up and feel better soon Max. I'll see you when we get back okay?" I kiss him on the other cheek.

We settle down for breakfast then go off our separate ways after that. Oliver and I walk up to the church gates to see Xlan and Red with Simon and a really energetic Josie in his arms. "There aren't many left we have three today then, a few tomorrow and the day after," I tell them. And all of a sudden it seems more real, Simon nods "Well let's get going then, Lion. It will be okay Swan, I promise." With that, I lead the way to her fathers grave. I read out the note and we all stand in silence until Josie cries and says "It all seems more real now, I can't believe she is gone. It just doesn't feel real. I hope she is happy wherever she is, wherever they all are now." I smile but my eyes are glassy from the tears punching towards the surface, "I'm sure they are and we will be too. Jo time heals all wounds and we will remember those good times as all the pain passes. I promise we will all be better." Then we move on down the street and towards the next place. We all look united now, not in the best way. We look sad and worn out but this way we can remind ourselves who she was and that will help us move on.