Realizations of the Meaninglessness of the Bland Words on the Screen

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Mindlessly searching away. Not really searching anymore, but walking. Paying no attention to what I came to look for in the first place. Searching and searching, searching and searching, searching and searching, my hands and feet slowly going numb from coldness. The word "searching" losing its meaning as I walk through the coldness, my mind wandering and imagining what it'd be like if I found what I was looking for. Except, I didn't know what I was looking for. I was looking for something. And I would know I found that something when I see it. 

Searching. Searching, searching, searching, all day until I can't keep myself up anymore. Constantly sighing. Not knowing what to do, what to think. 




Don't know how to write this. Can't tell if I'm actually connecting to this story or just writing on autopilot. I don't feel this one. It's so basic and bland. Can't think of anything else. My ideas have been a little rough to translate to words. But it's even hard to have ideas when creativity is evaporating from me. I want to write more about philosophical ideas and questions, but it's exhausting constantly running into dead ends or illogical questions. It takes up a lot of work and energy to write about that kind of stuff. I promise that I'll come to it when an idea crosses my mind, but right now nothing's coming to mind. Absolutely nothing. 

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