I'm not Your Bloody Mate

Chapter 10:

This chapter is almost twice as long as all the others. I guess you can look at it like some sort of 10th chapter celebrations. I will probably try to make my chapters longer from now on. Of course this means I will be updating slower, but I feel like my writing gets better when I'm writing longer chapters at the time.

It's gonna be a deal of cursing in this chapter, btw. Be warned. 

Chapter 10:

Conner's POV:

I was falling in love. I was certain of it. This couldn't possibly only be the mate bond. I was falling in love with Valentina, and I felt totally guilty about it.

I was supposed to be grieving. I was supposed to do my Alpha duties, and take vengeance on Logan and his pack. But I didn't. Instead I lay on the, rather comfortable, couch in my room, with my arms wrapped around Val. The fact that my mate lay safely in my arms made me happier than anything in the world, and that's the problem. My parents had just died, and I was happy. How screwed up is that?

"Don't you think we're moving a bit fast?" Val asked. She sat up from our spooning position, and looked at me. She had a determined look in her eyes that turned me on. "I mean, a week ago I didn't even know that you existed!" Okay. That was not turn on.

I slowly sat up as well, and gave her a curious glare. Our relationship was going much slower than the usual relationship between mates. If she was a werewolf I would have marked her the minute I sat eyes on her, and we would have been fully mated by know. It was killing both me and my wolf to give her time and space.

"What do you mean fast?" I asked, instead of answering her question. "No" obviously wasn't the answer she wanted, and I didn't want to upset her. I really didn't want to ruin the moment we were having.

"Well, first we made out, and then you bit me. Afterwards you practically carried me into your room, and know we're just sitting on your coach without saying anything like an old couple," she said, and looked me in the eyes. I could see her worry and confusion, and I cursed myself for not trying to look at things from her point of view. I would make a terrible Alpha if I kept seeing things from only one side.

"I'm sorry" I said, a bit surprised of my own words. I usually didn't apologize to people. "I'm trying to take it slow, but I just can't seem to control myself around you!"

She smiled faintly, which made my heart beat faster. Her happiness filled me with more joy than I would have thought possible. It was amazing how a simple smile could make me feel so satisfied.

"I think I know how you feel. Well, maybe not, but I also act weird when I'm around you. I just... I want you to appreciate my choices, you know," she said, and hesitated for a moment before she continued. "I don't believe in fate, Conner. I believe in making my own choices, and I won't you to choose me! Right now I feel like you're stuck with me, just because I'm your mate. I want you to like me for who I am, and not for being your mate!"

I opened my mouth to reply, but no words came out. I hadn't thought about it that way before. It the mate bond didn't exist, would I still have chosen Valentina? It was impossible to know. I finally realized that Val didn't feel the same pull as me, (at least not as strong), and it scared the hell out of me. She could choose her partner in a way I would never be able to. Yes, it was possible to reject her, but it would cause us both pain. Me, at least.

"Conner," Val said gently, and messed up my hair. "The fact that I won't to choose you myself doesn't mean that I don't like you. In fact, I like you very much!" She narrowed her eyes. "Well, kind of, at least. On a good day, perhaps,"