The Price You Will Pay

Untitled Part 1

Okay maybe ice cream would be nice. It has been a long day. The kids will love it. So we walk out of the gym. The ice cream store is in the same parking lot. That makes it much easier. Because no way was I getting in a car with this guy with my kids. I still can't figure out why this guy is doing this. I can't wait to ask my friends who own the gym. I know they have something to do with this.

I am watching the boys they look excited for ice cream as we stand in line. They are kids of course they are. So now he starts talking to me. He knows the boys names he asked them and excited to get a treat they share so easily. I herd him say his name when talking to the boys. Jac is his name. He turns to me and says Crystal the boys are sweet. I looked at him how do you know my name? I have seen you at the gym. I said yeah but I have seen you and didn't know your name. He says well I asked who you were. I looked at him why? Jac says your cute. I said please thats not true. But thank you for the kind words.

Jac looks at me like I have a couple heads and says okay maybe I said that wrong. You are a beautiful women. Now I know he is full of shit, but I think all men lie . I am still struggling to loose weight. I feel I look like a hot mess all the time. Between running around crazy and not truly sleeping beautiful is far from what I am.

So I change the subject this one is not making me feel comfortable. I said jac this is nice but unnecessary. You don't know us and it isn't cheep taking 3 people out for ice cream. I feel strange evening doing this with you. Why would you ask us? He looks at me Crystal can't people just be nice? I was hot I saw you guys in there and I knew you were probably leaving and all kids like ice cream. I mean no harm to you. Just relax and try to have fun its harmless its ice cream. Now I feel like a jerk. So I just said thank you.

Finally its our turn to order I am thinking the sooner this is over the sooner I can get back to reality. He tells the boys order any thing you want. He looks at Owen he is the oldest I bet you like those big ice creams with the all the stuff mixed in them. Owen looks at him He says I like them with Oreo cookies in them. Jac laughs those are the best do you like anything else in them? Owen looks over to me like is it okay? I smile and shake my head. He says I like both ice cream chocolate and vanilla. Jac says perfect order the works kid. Owen tells the girl behind the counter with a big grin like he is a hot shot. The girl laughs what size? Jac jumps in large of course he is a big guy. Owen laughs. I think great there is no way he is gonna finish that and I am not eating it. Now Jac looks at Hunter okay big guy tell me you like Sundays? I bet with lots of chocolate and whip cream? Hunter is so excited he says yes I love them. Jac says do you like sprinkles on top or cherries? Hunter without missing a beat I love sprinkles. I think you don't put sprinkles on a Sunday. This guy is gonna make these kids be awake for the night with a sugar over load. But I smile as Hunter orders his ice cream with such excitement.

Now Jac turns to me Crystal please tell me you are not getting a small vanilla ice cream cone. I think shit that is what I wanted. Im kinda nervous so simple was easy. I meekly said yes. He says no way come on be honest what would you really like? I said I am busting my ass at the gym I don't want to waist that many calories. Jac says you look amazing and its hot you can sweat it off. I sigh okay how about a small strawberry shortcake Sunday. Jac says to the girl and a large strawberry shortcake Sunday. I was like no not large. Jac says don't worry its ice cream if you can finish it ill help you or you can throw it away. I roll my eyes and says okay. Then he orders his.

The conversation is easy I say between him and the boys. When he talks to me I still am trying to figure out why is he doing this? I think of what a mess my life is and I don't need anyone making it worse. I must be sending off a vibe because he looks at me and says Crystal loosing up it ice cream. Try having some fun. I smile and think okay.

I listen as he tells us about himself. He tells us that he lives in the same town as us but in a different area south of us. He has a dog. His parents and brother live near by too. He was raised in this town. His father is a local police officer. He works for the local prison. He ask about me and my family but I don't share much. I am not in a good place so I kinda just say a few things. I tell him my mother has died and my dad live far away.

He never asked about the boys father. I thought that was good because I do not like to talk about the divorce in front of boys it is still to raw. I don't ask him much. I just let him direct the talking. Well everyone is getting full I see the kids are so trying to finish every bite. I am thinking please don't let them get sick on the way home.

So now it time to leave I feel relieved this has been enough for me. So we all get up and walk towards my car. I tell the boys to thank Jac and they do. I said thank you thats was nice. He says no thank you it was nice spending time with you guys.

As I drive away I the boys are talking about how much ice cream they can eat. All along I'm saying a silent prayer please don't let them get sick that in the car. We get back to the apartment I pull in and look at the building. Thinking to myself I never wanted my children raised in a apartment complex. It is not supposed to be this way. My American dream is kinda crashing buy the day.

Once I get threw the rest of the evening, I finally get the boys bathed and ready for bed. I think I am going to take a bath I need to unwind. My head has been spinning since the whole ice cream adventure. Once they fall asleep I get my stuff to clean the tub. I want to soak in the bath.

All along my mind is wondering why me? Why did that guy Jac come talk to me? Im a single mother who is barley making ends meet. I have nothing. I am not a college graduate. I still feel so fat. But he told me I looked great. That isn't right he was just trying to be nice. Because if I was good enough Clay would have never cheated with Lisa. I am nothing, I can't even keep my life long love happy. He found someone else.

The pitty party is being. I try to stop my mind from running threw all the negative stuff. Once the tub is cleaned and full of nice warm water I find a few miss matched candles and light them. I am just gonna try to relax. Once I get undressed to jump in I catch a reflection of myself in the mirror. I look for a moment. I see a tired face, bags under my eyes. My hair is a hot mess I need to get it done. My body I look at it, I see stretch marks and two c section scares. I think no way I am so far from nice looking. And I get in the tub disappointed in myself. I regret eating that dam ice cream. But it did taste so good. I can't even remember the last time I had that. Why does everything that taste so amazing have to be bad for you.

I get out and get dressed for bed. I so need to stop thinking and get some sleep. I have a long week still ahead of me.