Chapter 33

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The days passed slowly but the week passed quickly, and then, Jordan's time off began and the day of his surgery arrived.

He was sitting on a wheeled bed, dressed in a gown and bouncing and grinning while he and Darcey waited in the small room for the nurse to come take him back to surgery.

"Oh my god oh my god it's here it's here, Darcey, it's finally here, oh god I think I might throw up I'm so excited!" Jordan's words came out quick and strung together in one long string of syllables. Darcey smiled, but he couldn't quell the fluttering in his stomach, the kind of slight dizziness that only nerves could cause. Jordan's stomach was light and airy in excitement, his hands trembling with the adrenaline that came with the knowledge that his day was finally here.

A nurse knocked on the half-open door and pushed it in the rest of the way.

"Mr. Delgado? Are you ready to go back?"

"Yes!" Jordan squeaked. He gripped Darcey's hand and Darcey pressed a kiss to it.

"I love you, okay?" he said. The nurse unlocked the bed and began to wheel him down the hallway. Darcey followed.

"I love you, too!" Jordan grinned.

"I love you," Darcey repeated. Jordan gave him a thumbs up, and they disappeared through a double door.

The room was bright and Jordan had to squint to properly see anything, but it didn't matter, since the anesthesia would kick in shortly. His breath caught in excitement when the nurse slipped the mask over his face.

"Count back from one hundred," Dr. Shea said.

"Ninety-nine," Jordan started. "Ninety-eight."

He'd barely reached ninety-five when everything went silent and dark.

Darcey could not stop pacing.

Jordan was so calm going back, and with good reason: this was a huge day with nothing but positives. There was no tumor or cancer or damaged organ. It was his top surgery, something he'd been saving for for five years and looking forward to for even longer.

Darcey was probably more nervous than Jordan was.

This was a good thing. An amazing thing. Dr. Shea was a professional who had been working with transgender patients for many, many years. He knew what he was doing. Jordan would be safe.

Although Darcey brought a book, every time he opened it, he barely got two sentences in before putting it back down and getting up and pacing again. After he'd read the two opening lines seven times, he slammed the book down on the chair beside him in frustration. He sighed and scratched the back of his neck, glad that nobody had seen his stupid tantrum.

If he just had someone to talk to, the wait wouldn't be so taxing, but he didn't know who to call. Brett didn't know that Jordan was transgender, and while Darcey knew he wouldn't care, whether or not anyone knew was not his decision to make. Jordan wasn't out to Justin, either. Was he out to Iffy? Darcey didn't remember whether Jordan had specified one way or the other.

If only he were still in contact with Teeth, he thought. She'd implied that her boyfriend had been through at least one surgery and if he could just get her to pick up the phone, she'd potentially be a great reassurance. But she hadn't replied to any of his messages.

He tried her number again anyway, even though it had been so long it may not have even been hers anymore.

Teeth, it's Walker. This still your number?

He slipped his phone back in his pocket and glanced up at the clock on the wall. Only ten minutes had passed.

The procedure was supposed to take hours. Darcey was going to lose his mind by then.

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