Two Heartbeats on One Page

Chapter 16

Darcey didn't let go of Jordan's hand once as they walked back to his apartment. They took the back way through the alley, quieter and more private, where they were less likely to be harassed by passing drivers.

When they got inside, Darcey pushed Jordan up against the door, hands on his hips and his lips on his. Jordan nearly jumped and dropped his keys, he was so taken off guard, but he relaxed into the embrace almost immediately, curling his arms around Darcey's back, his fingers in the fabric just at Darcey's shoulder blades. Darcey's kiss was soft, but sure, and something about the way he held Jordan was almost protective, almost possessive, and it made him a little weak in the knees.

The way Darcey's hands moved over him, slow and sure and methodical, like he was mapping every angle and saving it away for later, it made Jordan feel so special, like he was the most important, precious thing in the world. He pushed closer, pulling Darcey in, and then Darcey pinned him against the door, the entire lengths of their bodies pressed firmly together.

Just as abruptly as the kiss began, it ended, and Darcey pressed his forehead against Jordan's, inhaling deeply, once, twice. Their noses barely brushed. Darcey's eyes slipped closed. He was so close that Jordan's eyes had gone blurry and he could feel the tickle of Darcey's breath on his lips, hot and a little shallow. Darcey's elbows rested on either side of Jordan's head, like he was shielding Jordan from something.

"Darcey?"

Darcey opened his eyes, and even though Jordan's vision was a little blurred he could still see everything, fear and worry and pain and somewhere in it all, something he thought he recognized as devotion.

"Are you –"

"I'm sorry."

Jordan paused. "What? Why?"

"For... I'm sorry I split up with you. It was stupid. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time but it was the stupidest thing I've ever done. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Jordan shushed him softly, resting his hands on either side of Darcey's face. "It's okay. We're back together now and that's what matters. You don't have to apologize. We figured it out, right? It's okay now."

Darcey lowered his eyes and nodded.

"Are you still thinking about the park?" Jordan's voice was just above a whisper in the silent room.

"Yeah." Darcey's voice broke. "I just... if we hadn't been there..."

"But we were," Jordan said. "And you were amazing."

Darcey looked up again. "It could have easily been Ally or Lexi or Brett or... or you," he said. "Either of us."

It took Jordan a moment to connect Darcey's statement to where his head was. It was a mishap at a baseball game, and it was serious, but it wasn't likely to happen to anyone else any time soon. But Darcey...

Jordan's eyes met Darcey's again, and that was when he saw it. That same faraway, vacant, terrified look in his eyes that he'd seen the night of his flashback. He was thinking about what he'd seen in the war. For years, he'd had to see things like this every day. Probably much worse. He had probably seen a lot of people die. Even though it wasn't likely here and Darcey was in a safe place now, with his family, with Jordan, living in a mindset like that couldn't be easy to shake.

"It's okay," he whispered, pulling Darcey into the gentlest kiss he knew how to give. He ran his hands up Darcey's back, trying to reassure him, because even though people said Jordan was good with words, he wasn't, really. He just threw up whatever what in his head without thinking about it and hoped it came out okay. There was a difference between being good with words and being unafraid or just stupid enough to say them.