Two Heartbeats on One Page

Chapter 4

Darcey hadn't seen his immediate family in almost two years, even through Skype. All of his contact had been letters and phone calls. He shouldn't be nervous, but he couldn't help it. He was always nervous, about everything and anything that could potentially go wrong, all the time, and he hated it. What had happened to him? He'd always been confident, if quiet, but now, everywhere he went, shadows of fear and worry lurked behind, even about good things.

Like seeing his family for the first time in years.

Darcey's hands shook more than the normal tremors, and Brett offered to drive. They would have had to take his car anyway, but Darcey didn't say anything snarky. He just nodded and tossed Brett his keys.

The drive took about a half hour, but when they started to wind through the familiar streets to get to the house, Darcey's chest simultaneously relaxed and tensed and it left him almost shivering with unease.

Brett's voice was quiet when he spoke, but Darcey still jumped.

"Sorry," Brett said. Darcey cursed quietly under his breath and wrapped his left hand around his forearm.

"It's okay," he replied. "Sorry I'm so..." he trailed off, then made a vague gesture with his right hand. "This."

"Are you okay?" Brett asked. Darcey looked over to see him trying to watch both him and the road at the same time. "Ever since... last night, you've been... not the same."

"What do you mean?" Darcey asked softly. He had been acting different, but he didn't understand it any better than Brett did. Maybe if someone said it out loud it would make more sense.

"You're really withdrawn," Brett said. He rolled to a stop at a street corner, looked left, then right. "I mean, you've always been kind of quiet, but this is different. It's like... you're curled in on yourself, but not physically. Emotionally."

If anything, Brett's explanation made it more confusing. When Darcey glanced over, Brett's hands were tight on the steering wheel, and only then did Darcey realize they'd been sitting at the same four-way stop that entire time. Brett looked over at him, and Darcey wanted to be able to meet his eyes, but he couldn't. He cast his gaze down.

"I just want you to be okay again," Brett whispered. "I know you saw some really messed up stuff over there and I know you're scared. But you have a lot of people who really love you here and we really want to help. Don't forget that."

Darcey smiled sadly and breathed out a half-laugh, but it was desperate, scared.

"I know we haven't talked about the therapist thing yet," he murmured. "But we will before I go back. I promise. And... I have some other stuff to talk to you about, too. But not yet. When we get back to your place."

Brett nodded and smiled hopefully before starting the car again.

When they parked in front of Darcey's old house, Darcey took a deep breath and squared his shoulders to steel his nerves. When he reached for the car door handle, Brett rested his hand on Darcey's forearm and said, "I know you're nervous, Darcey. But don't be. I don't think you understand how happy they'll be that you're here, even if it is only for a few days."

Darcey smiled gratefully. He nodded once.

"Yeah," he whispered. He opened the door.

The walk to the front door felt somber as a funeral march. Darcey paused to let Brett catch up with him, but Brett didn't let him stall any further. He reached around Darcey's shoulder and rang the doorbell.

"Yes, William, I know, but the field trip is on Monday, and –" Jess stopped mid-sentence when she turned to look out the door for the first time. Her mouth hung open in shock. Darcey smiled nervously.