Stars// Johnnyboy [𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕡𝕝𝕖𝕥𝕖𝕕]

13

hey everyone! thanks for sticking to chapter 13!

anyway, I've got some good ideas coming up i think, so get excitedddd!

The next book's name is going to be Lost & Found, so that's a fun fact!

The concept of this oneshot was an idea for a story I was thinking about writing, but ultimately rejected (actually still might) cause it was too simple and too short.

concept: Johnny's been back from the hospital for a while, but he's really broken up over everything that happened, and how his parents never really cared. Pony tries to make him feel better however he can.

loosely inspired by Dreams, by lonelycanofsoup (honestly one of the best books I've ever read)

from future ria: I feel like this is one of the better things I've written, so I hope y'all enjoy!

Johnny's POV

I sniffled, vigorously wiping my jeans jacket sleeve across my face, no doubt scratching my face. I couldn't let Ponyboy see me like this. Of course, I've had a crush on him for a while, and now was not the time I needed him seeing me being a sissy.

The footsteps drew closer, but I didn't turn around. I kept my eyes on the sun, which hadn't set yet, but I wasn't really here to watch it. I just needed to be alone.

I knew it was Ponyboy, he didn't need to say anything. I heard him sit down next to me, but i turned away. His hand grazed my arm, sending electricity through my bones.

Just from that, I had the chills, butterflies erupting in my stomach. Just for a moment, I'd forgotten why I was upset. Then it all hit me again, like a freight train.

"Johnny?" Ponyboy whispered. I could hear the concern in his voice. I don't want him to see me cry.

I shook my head, trying desperately to swallow the lump in my throat. It was no use, and the tears began collecting in my eyes again.

"Johnny, please.." He repeated, and it wasn't the voice crack that made me give in. It was what I could hear, just seeping in between two words. Pleading desperation.

As quick as a lightning strike, I turned and collapsed into his arms, hugging him weakly.

Pony flinched, but within a second, he hugged me back. I tried to hold back, for me and for him, but I couldn't.

I cracked, letting out a small sob, followed by others.

I just felt so.. empty. My parents had always been in my life, and it's never been too good, but I always figured that if something real bad happened to me, like it did back in Windrixville, then maybe they would care. Maybe they would come around.

I dunno.. guess I was wrong.. The little hope I had for my parents ever really wanting me had vanished, and that's when I knew I was really on my own.

When I finally came back to earth, I was trying to catch my breath, with Ponyboy's arms wrapped around me. He was rubbing my back and whispering sweet lil' things, which, I'll be honest, did help, but it didn't heal my problems.

I ran my sleeve under my nose, and sniffled one last time, before forcing myself out of his touch and back into a sitting position. I looked at the ground, not too keen to see his reaction.

Ponyboy slid his arm around my shoulders, scooting closer to me. Anxiety was rising in my throat, I swore I could feel it. I swallowed it down,  forcing myself to meet his eyes.

I instantly regretted it. His eyes were big, and a dark, sad green, with, and even though I'm sure he wouldn't admit it, tears pooled up on his bottom eyelashes.

"You 'aight, Johnnycake?" He whispered, worry lacing through every word.

I nodded, not even thinking before doing so.

Was it really true?

"..Don't lie. I know you, Johnny.. I know you're worried about your folks.. but you got us. You got me, and I.. we love you.. okay?" Pony's words were smooth as ice, and seemed so simple, yet so complex. It seemed so easy for him to put my internal confliction into words, even when it was still confusing to me. And that's why I love him.

I love him because of that damn smile, and his laugh. His hair, and his warm touch. I love him because he can put anything into words, describe any churning feeling. I love him most of all, though, because he cares about me. More than my biological family, more than Soda, Two, Dally, Darry, or Steve ever will.

But he makes me mad sometimes. He makes me mad because he's so perfect, and because I can't have him. Because someone else is going to have his touch, and his heart, and his love. And it's not going to be me, no matter how much I desperately wish it was.

I sighed, an upset sigh, even though I hadn't meant it to sound that way.

"..I'm sorry.." I managed, quietly, shattering the delicate silence strung between us. I let my head rest on his shoulder, raising a new kind of feeling in my gut.

"Don't worry, babycakes," Pony started, freezing in the middle of his sentence. The nickname made my cheeks flush. No one had called me that in years. It didn't bother me, though. If anything, it was comforting.

The emptiness in my heart surged, leaving a strange sort of confidence in its place. Before I could even second-guess what I was doing, I was cupping his cheek and pressing my lips against his.

I felt silly, at first, but only until he kissed me back. Then it was happiness, love.. you name it, I was feeling it.

We pulled away, and a smile swept its way onto my poor, bitten up, chapped lips, damaged from constantly being such a nervous wreck.

"Wow.." he murmured, and I bit down on my lip, trying to keep my cheeks from flushing anymore than they already were.

"S-sorry.. I-I got carried away, I don't know what I was think-"

Pony cut me off with another kiss, this time shorter and sweeter.

"Shh-" he started, after pulling away, "Don't think I'm crazy.. but I like you, Johnny, a lot." He paused, looking back out at the sky. "And I was wondering.. it might not be the right time.. but.. if you wanted to, maybe.. be my boyfriend?" Pony asked, finally letting his gaze land back on me.

My heart nearly stopped, and I grinned. For the first time in a long time.

"I'd love that, actually.." I replied, the grief, turned confidence, had once again morphed into a more filling feeling, this time. This time it was more welcoming, allowing a such missed smile onto my lips. A longed for feeling into my heart. And this time, I think it was there to stay.