It's Not Ladylike

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A sticky bed. The sound of dripping water. The darkness that never left. The heels clicking on the floor. Kevin knew he was forced awake again by the woman who wouldn't leave him alone.
He had been ignoring her every time she came here.  She would speak to him, but he stayed silent. He stopped telling her to go away in the hopes she would give up, but no luck. She lingered for what felt like hours until something would drag her away. But this visit was different.

She didn't greet him as she usually did. She didn't ask for him to talk to her or watch him until she spoke again. And this time, she actually touched him. It was the first time she had done that in all of their visits. She kept her distance and never got close enough where Kevin could touch her. He almost didn't believe it when he felt a gentle hand run through his hair. He opened his eyes to nothing, but he could feel her presence.

"Sweet boy, I need you to do something for me." Her familiar motherly tone in her British accent always comforted Kevin, even when he was angry at her. He always considered her his true mother. But he still didn't speak. He knew what she wanted. And he didn't want to wake up.

"I need you to take back the light. Take control over your body." Patricia continued stroking his hair as she whispered her words. "I need you to do this, but not for me."

"Then for who?" Kevin asked harshly. "You're the only one who wants me to wake up."

Kevin felt her flinch at the harshness of his tone and he wanted to apologise right away, but he knew he couldn't. That would show how weak he truly was. Even though she's already seen him at his weakest, he still hated for her to see it.

"I wanted you to wake up so you could talk to me. Believe me or not, I miss you. I need you to take the light for Casey and your child."

"That's not my child." Kevin stated. He saw it, but felt nothing for it. That was one of the personalities child. He was simply the host.

"That's not true. The boy has your hair. And your smile. And soon he'll have your innocence. I hope."

Patricia whispered that last part quieter than she had been talking this entire time. Kevin felt that last part like a shard of glass in his heart. She hoped.

"What do you mean by that?" He asked. "Why do you need me? You have Dennis, the Beast, they can protect it."

"Maybe the Beast is the one the child needs protection from." Patricia told him.

"I couldn't even protect myself." Kevin cried, tears he wanted to stay in finally falling down his cheeks. Patricia wiped his tears away and picked up his head and placed it in her lap.

"Shhh, Kevin. It's okay. Don't cry, my child. I'll protect you."

Kevin grabbed her hand that was wiping his tears and held it in his. "You're risking a lot by being here, aren't you?"

Patricia nodded, even though she knew he couldn't see it. "Don't worry about me. You don't have to do this, Kevin. I'm only asking because Casey asked me. I don't know why she wanted this, but she does."

Kevin didn't know why either. He told her to run last time he saw her. And that's what he would tell her now. Kevin squeezed Patricia's hand. Neither of them spoke for a long while. They just held hands and stayed frozen.

"Do you remember," Kevin finally said, "when I was six and my mother was screaming about me about something stupid and you took over?"

"She wasn't a mother to you." Patricia said automatically. "And I'm afraid that doesn't narrow down anything. Your mother was constantly screaming at you over nothing."

"But this time you took over instead of Dennis. I don't know how, but I remember being able to watch you through my eyes, but it was you who was talking."

Patricia did remember that. It was the only time she spoke to Kevin's not mother. Dennis and Barry forbade it and anytime the abuse started, Dennis would take it while Patricia was forced to sit in the room and do nothing.

"You spoke like you, you acted like you, and that freaked her out. We were in the kitchen and we were standing on a wooden box because I couldn't see over the counter. Dennis and I were making sandwiches when she started."

Patricia stole the light from him because he wasn't expecting her to. She remembered looking down at her small body and then turning to face the woman.

"You faced her and told her to silence herself. She started to come towards me, but you grabbed the knife and wagged it like you would a finger. I will never forget what you told her after."

Patricia wouldn't either, but she let Kevin tell his side of this twisted memory.

"You told her that if she dare lay a hand on me, you would fucking kill her. That is the only time I ever heard you cuss."

"That's because it's not ladylike." Patricia told him. She might not have been able to see him, but she knew he smiled at that.

"Then you grabbed the knife, my sandwich, and pushed past her to my room. She didn't abuse me for a week after that. She barely even spoke to me. She just left me alone. Because of you."

"That's my favorite memory." Kevin continued. "I don't have many, but if I had to choose, that would be it."

"I remember." Patricia told him. "All I want to do is protect you. That's all I ever wanted."

"I know." Kevin assured her. "I know."

"So will you do it?" Patricia asked after another long silence.

"Yes. I'll do it. Not for Casey or her child. But for you. I know you're risking a lot by being here. So I'll do it. But I won't make any promises. I choose you over anyone anytime. If this could hurt you, then no."

Patricia kissed his head and rested her forehead there. "Thank you, Kevin."

"You're welcome, Mom."

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