Honorable Mentions

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These tales aren't long enough to tell alone. These stories end quicker than they start, before I get pictures with them, or do anything with them. However, they are still worth noting, and her lies the purpose of the Honorable Mentions:

Faith From First Grade (2006)

This is not the Faith mentioned before. This is Faith From First Grade. By the time high school hit, she was in another county. Even then, based off of how first grade ended up, by second grade she was a stranger anyways, so even in our county, it's like she already left.

First grade. A couple days before Valentine's day. The Heart-O-Grams are on sale. Mom slips me a dollar bill to make someone's day. Little did she know that Faith From First Grade and I had already made a Heart-O-Grams pact. She got one for me (so I wouldn't be the only pathetic moron in class who didn't get one), and I got one for her.

Let me take this time to remind you how much of a hustler I was back in the day. A true player.

So, I tell her I want the Hershey's milk chocolate bar: classic. I also tell her a Reese's as a Plan B. She tells me KitKat.

I go to purchase one, and KitKats are sold out. I was devastated. Little old me had his first panic attack. So, the genius I was chose the Reese's, because I thought if Faith From First Grade didn't like Reese's, then she'd give them to me, and I'd have my Plan A and B. The scene was set. The pawns in place. Time to munch on some Hershey's.

As much as I plan (even to this day), it never unfolds as I expect.

It turns out, she didn't get me a Heart-O-Gram. The player got played. Out of anger, I was excited to see her get the thing she didn't want. She opened up the Reese's, looked at me dead in the eye, shouted "WRONG CANDY!", Looked back at the Reese's, and ate it. The player got played. I was half-expecting two candies and got zero, with the added bonus of the entire class thinking I had this massive crush on Faith From First Grade, but too dumb to get her the right candy.

First Grade was hard.

Marie (2011)

After we struggled to get out of elementary school, we found ourselves at Midway Middle. Our county merged three elementary schools into one. So, we had a much larger sixth grade class than fifth, basically. So, it was my elementary school fifth grade class and two other schools' fifth grade classes going into one sixth grade class, which made the nightmare of middle school even more nightmarish.

Not all of it was bad, though. I was able to meet Marie. At the time, I thought she was cute and she gave me attention so eleven-year-old Judson thought love was when someone gave you a decent amount of attention. So, throughout the year, Marie and I would always talk during homeroom. Thinking about it, I think that was the only time I saw her.

The year ends, and at some point, I gave her my landline number. I don't know when or how but somewhere in the mix, she gets my number. I was too young to get a flip phone, so I had to deal with the landline.

So, Marie calls me about a week into summer, and after a little bit of friendly conversation (like the conversation we'd have in homeroom), she asks me out. I'm stunned by it. Now, I had an idea that eventually I'd ask her out, after we graduated Yale together, but I was thrown off-guard when she asked me out. On the phone. I couldn't say yes. I didn't know what I'd be doing that summer, or how we'd schedule a playdate. I knew it wouldn't work out, so I said no, but I knew I couldn't just say no. I had to ease the blow.

So, she asked me out, and I reply with "hold on, let me ask Mom."

Thanks to the landline, I hold it away from my face. My Mom and Dad are watching me, and have been watching me excitedly since I answered the phone. They knew at the point that I had friends. Little did they know I was actually turning someone down.

They looked at me confused when I mentioned Mom and held the phone away but didn't say anything. I just sat there staring off into space, imagining myself asking Mom, Mom saying no, and so on and so forth. I had to time it right or else she'd get suspicious of how quick Mom's fake answer was.

I hold the phone back to my ear and say "she said no." Mom and Dad are even more confused, and this is when they start thinking that maybe I didn't want friends.

I hit Marie with a "yeah, sorry," and slam the landline like I owned it. I just turned down someone, but somehow felt proud. I had to explain to Mom that someone wanted to date me and then I had to apologize for slamming the very expensive landline and promise to never do it again because I could've broken it.

Marie didn't come back to Midway Middle the next year. She just disappeared. Maybe my words sent her away.

Oh well.

Grace (2017)

Much like how I had a great summer spending a big chunk of it with Sydney and Casey (see Tag), I spent the summer of 2017 with my friends DJ, AnnaB (not my sister, but instead another AnnaBeth, this time with the B capitalized), and Grace. I knew DJ from Track(?), and AnnaBeth from the theatre(?). Full disclosure, I can't remember how I met these two, but I'm glad I did. They were good friends to me. One time, we planned to go see Edgar Wright's newest flick, Baby Driver, in theaters when it first came out. I was a huge fan of Edgar Wright and was finally able to see one of his films on the big screen. None of us had a ride, so DJ and AnnaB invited Grace, who I never met before. So, I met Grace, and she was really cute and had a great personality and even liked songs I liked. It was a fun time, and I hoped that I was able to hang out with the crew again. I was wrong.

I hung out with DJ mostly. I spent the night at his place a couple of times, and found my love for apple juice there. We'd talk about Grace and AnnaB, and I made the declaration that I have the most attractive friends.

Fast forward a week or so later, and my wisdom teeth surgery was coming up. I talked to DJ and made sure that he wouldn't tell anyone the goofy stuff I would possibly say whilst drugged. I didn't know what I was going to be like, and I feared what I was gonna say.

On surgery day, they had to double dose the drugs, since I wouldn't go to sleep. I "woke up" in the van on the way to get my medicine and milkshake. My family told me that I was awake and trying to walk around the building, but I didn't remember any of it. Even when I gained consciousness in the van, I couldn't control myself. I was just watching my body move and type and do questionable things such as make a blood mustache and confess my love.

See, I was developing a very minor crush on Grace. She was really cute, funny, nice, and I wanted to get to know her. Drugged Judson amplified those emotions and thought he was in love and had to tell someone. I could've told DJ, who made me that guarantee, but Drugged Jud decided to tell AnnaBeth, Grace's best friend. I told AnnaB "I think grace is so cute but I don't wanna be a butthole an ruinen friendship we just startse".

That was a copy/paste of my exact words.

AnnaB tells me to think about my feelings when I'm not high, and then I ramble about how good of a friend she is. I know that somewhere, I sent multiple videos to multiple people, but I can't remember what of and to whom. I might've sent Grace a video without knowing. It was bad.

Grace has never talked to me since. I would occasionally try to spark conversation but it would never fully develop.

Curse you, you bloodied-mustachioed jerk.

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