Rewind (Completed)

Chapter 1: A Million Miles Away

Chapter 1: A Million Miles Away

It ended in June 2014. 

It all started again in June 2019.

"So you see, he didn't stop me from boarding the plane that day. I'm pretty sure he stopped waiting for me too - at least that's what I've heard from various sources," I explain. "Maybe he has a new girl on the sidelines..." I pause before shaking my head, not at all a fan of the idea, "I don't know," I confess truthfully. "I've been out of the loop for five years, by my own doing," I tell her in confidence as I pick at my nails casually, slouched across the chair.

I think if Jay had begged me to stay, I would have. He didn't though. He couldn't find a reason for me to stay. 'I love you' was never good enough for him. He proved that. Technically, he didn't break my heart. I didn't break his. It was a joint effort. We broke each others'.

I could have stayed in touch, but I didn't see the point at the time. I was blinded by personal issues and I was hurt. Instead, I changed my number so that the people from my past could no longer contact me. It just made things easier. Up until now, I never realized how essential leaving Minnesota was for me. I've learned, experienced and grown up so much in the five years that I've been gone. It was for the best.

The woman standing before me opens her mouth to speak, but I shush her as I continue telling her my bizarre life story just as she had requested, "Fast-forward to exactly a week later after leaving and you'd find me up in the bustling cities of New York - Manhattan, to be specific." 

New York was quite the change for me, but that's what I needed - change. 

"I found my father after two weeks of searching, but I came to regret it." Thinking back, I wish I hadn't found him. Things between us never went as planned. If anything, we're further apart than we ever were before.

I carry on with my story (much to the impatience of the elderly woman before me), "But my dad didn't seem to care that I'd been tracking him down with Jay - my lifeline back then - for the last year," I elaborate to keep the women updated and interested with the events that went down five years ago. 

"Jay was right," I sigh in defeat. "In the end, my father did not want to be found." 

In fact, my father barely gave me a second glance. The wound is still fresh in my heart, hence why I refuse to tell the lady exactly what happened between us. My dad's a cruel man. I'll leave it as that. 

"I know I should tell you everything, but I have a hard time opening up," I confess truthfully, hoping that she's taking down some notes.

I might not have gained a father out of leaving, but I did go through a valuable learning curve. Looking back, leaving Minnesota was for the best. I've overcome past obstacles and internal issues - specifically with my birth mother's death, as well as my stepmother's abuse. I've grown. Never before have I felt so content in life. The heavy weight that I'd previously been carrying is no longer upon my shoulders. For the first time, I feel entirely free.

I inspect the woman in confusion, "Aren't you going to write that down?" I query, seeing the notepad and pen in her hand but not seeing her jot anything down.

The woman opens her mouth in protest, "Ma'am-"

I unintentionally cut her off once again as something else springs to mind, "I was supposed to return back to Minnesota after that, but when my father - a wealthy businessman - relocated, I didn't see the point in leaving New York. He was no longer there to hold me back. I could actually make a life for myself in New York City. So I did."