Mixed Emotions (girlxgirl)

I'll Beat Your Ass to a Pulp

A/N: Okay so this chapter includes violence and some emotional stuff. I'm just warning people that it includes rape so if you're uncomfortable reading about it then I suggest you don't read it. >w< 

Hayden's POV-

'This all wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for Grayson.' I thought angrily to myself. 'After what just happened with Rogue I'm not sure if things will ever go back to where they were. Everything is going to be completely different between us. All I can do is hope that we both can forget about the kiss. My friendship with Rogue is very important to me and if my actions ruined our friendship then I wouldn't know what to do with myself.' I let out a loud sigh and stopped walking. I ran a hand through my hair as I tried to catch my breath from running those six long blocks from Starbucks.

Tears came rushing down before I could even stop them. I breathed in heavily and slowly breathed out. 'I'm not gay or even bisexual.' I thought trying to convince myself that it was true even though it felt like a total lie. 'Ever since the ninth grade my feelings for her grew stronger and stronger each day I spent with her. I never would have thought things would have happened the way they did. Rogue is everything to me and I love her with every cell on my body, but... She's my best friend who also happens to be a female.' I'm not against homosexuality in fact I support the entire LGBT community. It's just I would have never guessed this would happen to me.' I rubbed the sleeve of my hoodie against my face to wipe away the tears. I pulled my hoodie over my head as I squeezed my eyes shut so the tears wouldn't come falling down again. 'You're stronger than this Hayden. You've even gone years going through the pain of seeing her with other people and you just so happen to kiss her and freak out? Why exactly are you feeling this way, shouldn't you be happy? You can fix all of this, Hayden. Maybe not now, but soon.' I thought trying to reassure myself. "Why did you have to admit your feelings for me?" I muttered under my breath. "Everything would have been different if you hadn't of forced me to go to that party in ninth grade." I said quietly, but with a bit frustration added to my voice.

~Flash Back~

"Rogue I think you've had enough." I said while taking away Rogue's 7th beer she had tonight. She pouted and tried to grab it back.

"No, seriously Rogue you're done for tonight. Can we just go home now?" I asked irritably.

"Soon. I just want to go say bye to the guys." Rogue said slurring her words while tripping over her own feet. I placed my arm around her waist trying to hold her up.

"For fucks sake Rogue you can't even walk correctly." I exclaimed angrily.

She started giggling at my infuriation, but suddenly stopped once she noticed I was glaring at her.

"Chill, Hayden. Why are you always so damn serious? Have a little fun for once." Rogue responded annoyed.

I rolled my eyes. "If I were to have fun then who would watch after you, huh? We both know you're the kind of drunk who does stupid shit." I snapped.

"I don't need a babysitter, Hayden." Rogue snapped back and unhooked my arm that was wrapped around her waist for support as she stumbled her way towards the guys and sat onto Grayson's lap.