Mixed Emotions (girlxgirl)

The Carnival

Rogue's POV-

I felt like complete shit. Not only have I upset Hayden once again, but she really doesn't want to see me. II literally thought she wasn't serious the first time she told me. Maybe a few days separated from each other at the most, but it seems that she doesn't want to see me for a while. A while meaning weeks. Weeks ending up being months. And months ending up being years. 'What if she doesn't ever want to see me again?!' I thought to myself completely frightened.

My steps slowed down as I got near the front entrance of the hospital. I've been running away from most of my problems lately and they are finally starting to eat me alive. I can't stand lying to Hayden about my feelings for her. The thought of lying to my mother about being into girls even disgusts me. Ever since my father died I haven't kept anything from my mom except the Hayden issue and being a homosexual. How do you tell the woman who has sacrificed everything for you to help make your life better after your father died that your prefer females over males? Hopefully I won't end up like those people who stay closeted their entire life because they don't want to disappoint their family? Don't get me wrong, family is very important and you want to do everything in your power to protect them and keep 'em happy, but once you put your own happiness at risk because you want to impress them is something no one should have to do. Family is supposed to love you for who you are no matter what. I know everyone's family means a lot to them, but someone who is not going to love you just because of their opinion on what is right or wrong should not even be considered family. I love my mother with all my heart and when I decide to come out to her I will do it with so much confidence and keep in mind that she might not accept me. If her opinion of me changes bitterly I'll still love her more than anything because she is indeed my mother and she was the one who brought me into this world.

"Rogue!" I heard an incredibly lovely female voice shout out my name. "Wait up!" She yelled out at me again.

I turned around to see whose voice it belonged to. Roma's beautiful yet fully concerned facial expression caught my attention. Sadness filled throughout my body at the thought of causing her to worry about me. I just met this insanely gorgeous girl and I'm already feeling bad that she has to deal with my constant mood changing already.

I put on my famous fake smile when she caught up to me. She was almost out of breath from chasing after me I assume. Roma ran her long fingers through her long, black beautiful hair trying to fix it. She looked up at my face and gave me a quick, but nervous smile in return.

"I apologize for reacting the way I did back there in front of you. It was quite rude of me to burst out in anger in front of everyone. It's just when I get so upset and angry with someone everything around me seems to cease to exist except for that one person." I told Roma apologetically.

She waved her right hand indicating that it was not a problem to her whatsoever. "It's totally fine. You were upset. I'm sure I would have done the same thing to the person I love." Roma said calmly with complete ease.

My eyes stretched to the size of large walnuts as I stuttered out, I-I'm not in love with Hayden. Nope, not at all. Why would you think that?" I said way too fast for my liking. Roma stood in front of me with an eyebrow raised. I rolled my eyes at her gesture and sighed.

"Is it really that obvious?"

"Nah, not too obvious, but enough for me to get a vibe from both of you when you two were arguing. Plus the way you two looked at each other when you first walked in the room was like the way a married couple would look at one another." Roma said nodding to herself as if she was pleased with what she had said.

"You know, she does have mutual feelings for you too. Though she does hide it a tad better than you do." She chuckled teasingly.

My mouth opened ajar from what she just told me. "N-no. Hayden d-doesn't like me in that way. I mean we're best friends and have been for such a long time. Plus she even has a boyfriend for God's sake." I said mostly to myself than to Roma. I was unconvinced of the fact that Hayden might actually feel the same way. Let's say that Roma was actually speaking the truth for a minute. Hayden would have told me she shared the same feelings for me already if it was true, right? RIGHT?