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Here it is!!! Finally sorry for the huge delay in the update.
I love you guys and don't hesitate to comment !
- A
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Zayn POV
I couldn't look at Harry in the eyes. Not only because of what he just witnessed but also because of what Oliver said. My father wasn't a subject I was comfortable with but I knew I owe Harry the complete story, hell i owe him my life. I walked to the bathroom, closed the door, my back against it, slowly sliding down until I reached the cold floor, tears escaping my eyes. For the first time in what felt like years I let myself go. I let myself cry about my fucked up life. I was scared. Being in trouble was what I was used to, first my mom, my dad, then Oliver, the cops, the streets, the drugs, the prostitution... nothing ever felt right like it feels with Harry, and I was scared out of my mind that after hearing my story he would drop me like everybody else did before.
What kind of cop would want to go out with a bum like me. What kind of guy would genuinely want to be with someone as broken as me. I was terrified to lose him and that was the reason why I was constantly running away from my feelings for the man. I knew I was in love with Harry, but some invisible force was keeping me from commiting into this relationship like I should. Call it shame, call it cowardice, I couldn't let myself into it as long as I was keeping everything inside.
I knew I needed to get it out of my chest but I didn't know how. I was to used to be alone, sharing just wasn't my thing. Even with people around, I was still feeling alone. Like no one could understand me. Louis knew most of my story but I left some part out when I told him.
"Don't tell" was all he every told me, and that's all I ever did. I never told a soul about it and now I was facing those painful memories alone.
After a moment I heard a knock on the door. I dried my tears and opened it. To my surprise, Louis was on the other side. He didn't say anything, he took my hand and pulled me into a bone crushing hug.
- Never think that no one can love you because I do. You are like a brother to me. The family I never had you know. And don't think that Harry will leave because he could have... He could have when he knew you were a homeless teenager, he could have when he arrested you for prostitution and drugs possession, he could have when he learned about Oliver or your mom. He could have let you down when you acted like he was shit because he was a cop or when you ranaway from him for the hundred times, but he never did. He stayed by your side. He protected you all that time. I never seen a love so pure and true. He loved you from the first time he layed his eyes on you. I'm terribly jealous of what you have so please don't screw everything up because you close up on yourself like you always do. Harry never judge you so far... And i'm sure he never will. Beside if you screw things up, am I allowed try with him?
He finished a big cocky smile on his stupid kid face. I couldn't help but laugh softly at my best friend.
- Back off Tommo, he is mine.
He laughed and pat me in the back. Louis is a great person to just like sit and kind of just admire what he is like. Always so funny but also so down to earth.
- Come on go talk to your man.
He finished, leaving me alone with my thoughts once again. I knew that he was right. I needed to talk with Harry.
A couple of minutes later the door opened and Harry walked in. He was wearing black joggins with a simple white tshirt but he was still beautiful. I never understood how he could reach such a degree of perfection. His green eyes were sparkling under the light and his dimples appeared as soon as his eyes met mine.
- You're alright?
- Zayn, I should be the one asking you that. I'm fine as long as you're safe.
He walked by me, sit close to my body and took my hand in his. He brushed his thumb on my cold skin, giving me a smile that made me feel safe.
- What Oliver said was true.
I choked out the words getting caught in my throat.
- About your father?
- He... He made a deal with Oliver. See my parents, they weren't good parents. They were both addicted to drugs before my birth. They had a child so they could receive extra money from the gouvernment each month. They were barely feeding me. They were leaving me in my crib alone, and when I was crying because I was scared, my dad would come to my room and hit me, ordering me to stop. I wasn't even four when he broke my arm for the first time. I was constantly scared and alone. When my mother passed away, he just kept getting worst...
I stopped myself a moment, thinking about the right words to say. Harry squeezed my hand a little signaling me that he was listenning.
- He start partying a lot. He was bringing women home everynights. Mainly cheap prostitutes he would fuck right in front of me. Soon enough, money start missing since he didn't work and was taking everything we had for drugs and sex. Someday, I was thirteen... I came back from school, he was snoring coke on the kitchen table. I tried to leave for my room before he could see me but he did. He told me to come and sit on his lap. I thought it was extremely strange but I was too scared to get beat up to refuse, so I did.
By then tears were falling free from my eyes again. It was so difficult to remember that moment.
- He was smelling like jack and smoke. He didn't say a word, he just took my wrist and put my hand on his... you know...in front of his pants and he start moving my hand. I tried to remove it but he kept it in place. He told me that I was a good boy that it was normal to pleasure him like this. He forced me to pleasure him, handjobs then after a while he asked for blowjobs also. I was young and scared of what he would do to me if I ever talked about it. He always told me to keep quiet. When I turned sixteen, I was already using drugs, doing stupid things like stealing to numb the pain. Not so long after my birthday, it was the middle of the night, four guys broke into our house. They beat up my father who apparently owe them a lot of money for drugs. They were about to kill him before my eyes when my father suggested a deal to save his pathetic existence. He was offering me in exchange of his debts. That's how I quit school and end up in the streets working for Oliver. We met not so long after. All he ever did was hurting me. Nobody ever loved me Harry.
- I love you Zayn. I do. With all my heart and nothing you said tonight changed my feelings for you or the way I see you.
I blinked the tears away before attacking his lips, kissing him with all I had. It was the first time in my life I felt real love and it was the most confusing, terrifying yet amazing feeling ever.
- I love you too, Harry.
