Let It Be

Chapter 10

I stood in the kitchen and downed one more shot before grabbing a beer to chase it down. I cracked it open and began to chug when I heard the balcony door open and close... She had come back inside. I took a deep breath as I tried to play it cool before heading toward the living room. Before I could make it there, Jazz was in the doorway of the kitchen with a small smile.

"Hey, sorry about that." She said simply with no explanation of who she was talking to. 

"You're good. Want a beer?" I asked casually, almost as if nothing happened.

"No, I'm okay. Hey, I gotta head out in a little bit, if that's cool with you." She replied apologetically.

"Yea that's fine. Is everything okay? Is it an emergency?" I asked, hoping she would at least tell me who it was on the phone that she was calling 'sweetheart'. 

"Yea, something like that. There's this girl, I mean.. I don't know what to call her. We're not together, she says she's still not over her ex so we were kinda just messing around for a while." Jazz leaned against the wall and looked down as she continued, "But I was catching feelings, and when I told her that, she said she wasn't ready for a relationship or to get serious. So we kinda just, stayed friends. I'm not gonna lie, I thought I loved her.. I still kinda do. She's everything I want, she's ambitious, she's in the military, she's silly as hell, she has a Jeep, I've always wanted a Jeep." Jazz laughed as she looked up at me.

I stood there holding back all facial expressions. Jazz was legitimately telling me about a woman who she is or was or whatever... IN LOVE with. This couldn't be real. She was a little too blunt and straight forward honest with me.. I didn't know if I could handle it.

"Anyway, we decided that we would just be friends, and she just called me and she's freaking out about the ex. Apparently she saw the ex with some other chick so she's all hysterical. She said she didn't want to be alone so I told her I'd head over there. Gotta be there for her, ya know?" Jazz finished.

"Yea I completely understand. Gotta be a good friend, right homie?" I said, chugging the rest of my beer with no problem. The beer wasn't nearly strong enough to kill the thoughts floating in my head at that moment. I guess I was going to attempt to act like that magnificent session we just had didn't happen, act like we were just buddies, and like nothing would ever happen again. I had to draw an imaginary line in the sand because she clearly wasn't trying to get to know me on that level or even take me seriously. She just stood there and admitted her feelings for another woman. I'd be a damn fool to continue to pursue that. Crush or no crush, I had to let that go. I guess all we'd be from there on was friends... strictly friends. 

"Uh.. yea.. I guess.. Hey, why'd you call me homie?" Jazz asked with a slight laugh. "You never call me that." 

"I dunno.. just seemed to fit." I shrugged. "So when are you going to get goin?" 

"Probably in a second. Can I use your restroom." Jazz asked.

"Sure go for it." I said walking past her into the living room and plopping down on the couch. I turned on the TV and channel surfed as Jazz made her way to the bathroom to freshen up, I guess. 

About 10 minutes passed and Jazz made her way out of the bathroom. She walked over to where her shoes were sitting and put them on. As she was tying her laces she said, "Hey, I had a great time tonight though. We should do this again." There was a genuine smile on her face. I didn't know if she was just saying that just because or if she actually meant it. 

Either way, I answered, "Yea, of course."

"Gonna walk me to the door?" Jazz asked, hopeful.

"Yeaa, I guess Imma have to so I can lock it and all." I replied half chuckling, getting up and heading over to the door. I unlocked it and opened the door, standing beside it waiting for Jazz to leave.