Dream On Fire

(23) If...

If we were together and you saw me crying what would you do? Would I be able to feel comfortable enough to tell you what's going on?

Today I woke up knowing I had my science fair presentation. I put on a fake leather brown skirt with a blue lined formal long sleeve. I did my makeup going for Browns, my shoes are brown too...

I looked in the mirror and found myself beautiful... I don't know if you remember but, I never feel 100% ok with myself... I always find something ugly but today I felt amazing... then... it all went down...

My mom told me I looked awful... that the shirt didn't match but there was no other shirt that I thought fitted the same... I had thought I looked beautiful and she said the opposite...

I ended up fighting with her and being able to bring the shirt I wanted but...

All I wanted to tell her was:

"Mom! Can't you see!!??? I felt beautiful this morning! Out of all my bad mornings I felt beautiful to my own eyes! Didn't you know that last year I was depressed with my weight and my acne? Didn't you know?"

Do you think I look pretty? Did you ever thought of me as more than a friend?

In my mind I have all this questions for you... just the same as you did when I told you I liked you but...

The problem is... you were brave enough to ask... and I can't bring myself to do that...

And for that I'll say... I'm sorry... I'm sorry for being coward (is it even spelled correctly?)...