cryptic ⋙ calum hood

30. Calum

'Meet me at Leo's tomorrow afterschool. I'm ready to tell you who I am.'

"HOLY SHIT!" I practically screamed, nearly choking on my french fry. I was shot dirty looks from people eating around us as Michael elbowed me roughly.

"Shut up!" He hissed at me. 

"What is it?" Ashton giggled from across the table. 

"You know that person that's been messaging Cedar?"

"The one leaving hints?" Luke asked me with his mouth full. I rolled my eyes at him but nodded.

"They want to meet me tomorrow afterschool," I told them eagerly. "I'll know who they are and I can like, really help them, you know?" 

"But they'll know who you are, too," Michael pointed out and I frowned. I hadn't really thought of that.

"You're keeping their secret, you think they'll keep yours?" Ashton asked me. I groaned and shrugged, shoving more fries into my mouth and looking at my phone.

'SO excited. But one condition- my identity is our secret, okay? Can't wait.'

After dinner, Michael dropped me off at home and my mum made me ice my face. When she found out I had been in a fight on Saturday morning, she freaked out and nearly collapsed. I told her it was nothing serious, and the guy was just drunk and had the wrong person. My dad helped calm her down, and I felt awful. I fucking hated scaring my mum or making her upset, because of James. 

I hardly slept that night, and decided I'd go see him tomorrow before I met my anonymous friend. That would mean skipping last period, but it was okay. I was nervous, to say the least. What if they hated me as Calum Hood and then found out I was Cedar? What if they were lying about everything to find out who I was? No one would be that terrible, would they?

What would even happen when they found out who I was? I hadn't thought any of this through, but hopefully it would figure itself out with time. My mind grew tired with these thoughts, and I eventually fell asleep.

I woke up in the morning with my stomach tied in knots, and had to force my breakfast down. 

"You're shaking, Cal," Luke looked over at me while I was driving us to school.

"I'm really nervous," I took a right turn and sighed.

"Why? Do we have a history test or something?" He suddenly sat up straighter.

"No, idiot. I'm meeting that anonymous person."

"Oh right," he slumped back into his seat as I pulled into the student parking lot. "Be careful with that. I'm sure it'll all be okay though," he grinned and got out of the car, me following closely behind. "Is Cassie not coming to school today?"

"No, she said she's sick," I shook my head and looked at the floor as we passed by Andrea and Parker with some of their friends. I had a feeling they were looking at me, but refused to look up and find out. 

My day passed by in a bit of a daze. Samantha sat with us at lunch, and asked about Cassie. I assured her she was fine, but couldn't really focus on conversation. My classes were boring, and I was uninterested. When second to last period rolled around, I practically ran to my car. The sun felt great on my skin and I felt like I could breathe. I drove to see James, and sat with him for a while talking about everything.

"I'm sorry I haven't been back in so long. I don't have an excuse. Things have been kind of crazy." I rubbed my hands over my face, and rested my arms on my knees. "Cassie, that girl I told you about, she's been having a hard time. I'm worried about her." I went on to tell him what's been going on with Parker, and that she's been cutting. I had left Cassie alone in her time of need. I would go and visit her after Leo's, and I would not leave until she agreed to get help. Why had I been so stupid? Of course I needed to help her, not leave her. I talked and talked to James throughout almost all of my last two school periods, about the anonymous person I would soon meet, and how god damn much I missed him. About half an hour before school let out, I got up to make my way to Leo's. I gave the large Cedar tree a little pat, looking up at it with my eyes squinted. I guess it was for good luck.

I drove to Leo's slowly, and my mind was racing. This could very well just be a set up, and I was worried. I entered the establishment and knew I was a little early, but I could try to ease my nerves with some coffee. I approached the counter, and the old man who was doing something with the register looked up at me, and began speaking before I could order.

"Are you Calum Hood?"

"Y-yes?" I stuttered. "That's me," I nodded quickly, "why?"

"A dark haired girl came in here earlier and told me to give this to you when I saw you." 

I furrowed my brows as he handed me a photo of myself I didn't even remember having taken, and a piece of notebook paper folded in half twice with my name across the front. 

"Thank you," I smiled at him politely and walked out of the coffee shop to see what the hell this was in my car. The sun was ridiculously bright, and I pulled down the sun visor to block it a bit. A picture fell out, and I looked to find it was the one I had taken from Cassie's room. She was so beautiful. 

I put the picture of myself in the passenger seat, along with the picture of Cassie, and unfolded the paper.

Calum,

        I figured out you were 'Cedar' a while ago. I saw your notebook one day in school, and it made so much sense to me. You're so great Cal, and you've been nothing but good to me. I'm sorry I've put you through so much since I've came into your life. I didn't mean to fuck everything up, please believe me when I say that. I don't know what I wanted when I came to Cedar. I didn't want anyone to save me, I don't think. I did basically place my life in your hands, and I'm sorry for that. I'm not your responsibility. But just know that you've done what you can, and it's been enough. You gave the word trust a meaning for me, and that's more than I could ever ask for, Calum. I love you, I truly do. And if you love me too, you need to understand that this is for the best. By the time you read this, I'll be gone. I'm so sorry. I just couldn't do it anymore.

        Love always,

        Cassie (abc123)

I'm emotional you guys

i think there's one chapter and an epilogue left of this story- possibly two chapters

dedicated to myrareadsxx because she sends me lots of cute messages yay 

vote and comment and i love you all <33