#THE HASHTAG

18 | Tell Me Why

Tell me why does it hurt so bad

Tell me why does it make me mad

✝ Chapter Eighteen | Tell Me Why ✝

   It was the beginning of freshman year when Adam confessed his feelings towards me.

  I remembered we were sitting in our Biology class doing a science experiment, and we happened to be lab partners. It was our first year in high school and Adam was a familiar face, so we vowed to have each other’s back throughout the year.

   I hadn’t seen him the summer before school started because his parents sent him away to his grandparents. When he came back to school, his hair had gotten longer and his boyish features had started to grow manlier. He was definitely something to look at, but no one really cared because he never talked to anyone aside from me.

   “Did you know they had a chess club here?” he had asked me, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “I think I’m going to join.”

   “Cool,” I said absentmindedly as I began to poke at the eyeball set on the tray in front of us. I wanted to puke at the very sight of it. It smelled like rotten eggs and it looked like a slimy piece of shit. How this was supposed to contribute to our education? I had no clue. “How the hell are we supposed to dissect this?”

   Adam laughed at me before he grabbed the scalpel and began to cut through the thick eyeball, black goo oozing out of the incision. “So, uh … I want to tell you something.” He didn’t make eye contact and instead, kept his eyes on the eyeball.

   “What is it?” I questioned. “Is Lou picking on you again? If so, let me know and I’ll tell my mom to talk to his mom. She can set him straight in no time.”

   He shook his head, sighing. “No,” he breathed out. “It’s something else.”

   “Quit stalling,” I snapped, giving him a sideways glance “Just out with it already. You know how impatient I am.”

   He flinched at the hardness in my voice, but continued anyway. “Do you remember when we went on that class trip to the lake in middle school?”

   “What about it, Krueger?”

   Adam bit back another sigh once he was finished cutting the eyeball in half. Then he began to separate it into different sections. “Okay well, I don’t know if you remember it or not … But we took that hike and I nearly tripped and busted my ass but you caught me. And I was staring into your eyes and for the first time…”

   “Spit it out!” I had shouted, earning curious stares from our classmates.

   “I have a crush on you, Lexi,” Adam finished in a rush. It came out more like one long word rather than a sentence, but I understood it anyway.

   I blinked multiple times, my mouth opening and closing like I always did when I was at a loss for words. “Adam … I … Uh, um, I’m-ˮ

   The scalpel fell from his hands and he looked at me in horror with his bright blue eyes growing wide. “Oh god, oh god, please don’t hate me.” He squeezed his eyes shut as his shoulders tensed.

   “Adam, I don’t … Hate you. I’m just shocked, that’s all. You’re a really great friend, Adam, but I don’t like you like that. You know how I feel about West. You and I … We’re just friends.”

   He gave me a hesitant smile, but it was obvious he was heartbroken. “Yeah, of course. Friends. Sorry, I just-"

   “It’s okay,” I reassured him as I placed a hand on his shoulders. “Now let’s get back to work.”