𝕰𝖈𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖘𝖞 | XXXTENTACION

9.9 He He He Never She 🧐

"Girl I told you what is was, I let you know" - Pnb Rock
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Xodia Welsher
Date : A random day in November
Pov : 1st

Journal Entry #7

Be bold ,

Be bold,

Is what I keep telling myself,

How can I be bold when,

This man has me in his palms,

I feel as a toy,

Perhaps a game,

Yet I still try to be bold,

My book,

My most prized possession,

He ... He has it,

Underline he,

He,

Him,

His,

History,

All male pronouns,

His story ,

That book is my story,

Yet he has it,

Always he,

Never she,

Even in all female pronouns,

He is mentioned,

Her,

She,

Hers,

Female,

Woman,

I will change that,

I will be bold,

But,

Being bold,

Being bold takes a undying strength,

I simply do not have,

But,

I will not feed in,

But,

Perhaps I must,

So many decisions but I'm still left,

With one thought,

The only materialist thing,

I care for is gone,

And in his hands,

Is it worth loving a monster,

Is it worth losing my pride,

He's ripping me apart from the inside

Out,

Do I feed in or stand my ground,

I do not know but one things,

For certain,

No matter what rises,

There will always be a crash and burn,

Journal entry over

I slam my laptop shut. My journal entries normally flow , but since he took my book somethings missing. He seems to be the only thing on my mind, yet I'm forcing myself to hate him. I convince myself I don't want anything to do with him yet I still feed in. Is a book about all my undying fantasies for him worth it ? I'm his Ecstasy nothing he wants from me is real. I stand up off my bed and start pacing.