𝕰𝖈𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖘𝖞 | XXXTENTACION

3.3 Parties are meant to be remebered 🎊

"Can't help but to stair at you , girl what did you do to me" - Chris Brown
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Xodia Welsher
Date : A random day in November
Pov : 1st

Journal Entry #3

Intoxicated by you i never stopped,

To realize you where also a human,

With emotions and a personality,

I fell in love with the person,

I made you into in my mind,

To talk to you ruined that image,

I may still love you but you are the devil,

Not the angel in my mind,

I will remember who I thought you was,

I will remember who I want you to be,

Journal Entry over

As I stare at the celling I felt a wave of nausea come over me. I pick my legs up from the floor and try to run over to the bathroom but before I can even get there I run into the door, knocking myself down causing me to throw up right in front of the bathroom. Let me tell you how I got here though.

The night before {Recap}

"Babygirl fuck is you trying to say" he says looking me dead in my face. Out of all people it had to be Jahseh didn't it. I look down, he has on black Air Force 1s. I take my time looking at them .. I couldn't help but stair at the floor .. I'm not sure what he was doing to me but all I know is I can't make eye contact. I stand quietly and dazed out till he grabs my neck lifting my face up.

"Didn't you hear me talking to you" he says hand still around my neck.

"Ye -Yea .. Yeah .. sorry" I think this is the first time I ever stuttered like this. He releases his hand from my neck and pushes past me.

"I'm tired of you fucken bumping me " He mumbles loud enough for me to hear him .. I then decided I don't need this shit so my dumb ass walks back inside grabs the nearest bottle of Patron and starts downing it.

{ Sometime later that night}

So getting wasted wasn't the best idea. Right now I'm on a table dancing being the life of the party. All is well till I trip on my own foot and fall. After that everything is a little splotch all I remember is waking up in car with someone rubbing my face.

"Where am I" I ask looking around my vision is impaired and I'm about 95% sure I got kiddnaped and I'm gonna die.

"Well little Ms. Depressed you thought getting black out wasted was okay , then your ass decided it would be a good idea to fucken dance on a table and fall into me" He says in a low deep voice. I swear if it's who I think it is I'm going to kill myself. I focus my eyes on the person realizing once again it's Jahseh .. the universe must hate me or something.

"Look you fucken dip shit. I didn't ask you to fucken catch me, nor does that explain why the fuck I'm in your car. You know your fucken a dick face .. always having a damn attitude like I won't smack the damn attitude out of your bit" I say in a drunk rant. I was cut off when his hands grabbed my neck chocking me lightly.

"Shut the fuck up and tell me where you live." I just look at him trying to process what's happening.

"Am I fucken stuttering where do you live." I don't know if I'm terrified or out of air cause this mother fucker tryna make my poor lungs burst.

"6578 ceder drives" I say choking the words out, he then harshly let's go of my neck and starts to drive.

{A few minutes later}

I feel my body being lifted. I think I fell asleep or something cause when I open my eyes we were in-front of my apartment building.

"What floor." He asked me , I wrap my arms around his neck as he carried me bridal style.

"4a" he carries me up until we got in my apartment. It's not a bad looking place, it's a two story apartment not really anything special. I hand him my keys and he unlocks the apartment door. I'm not really sure how we got in the building cause like I said before I was blackout wasted and everything I remember is hazy .

"Where's your room." He says sounding annoyed.

"Up them stairs and to the left." He carries me till he gets to my room and drops me on my bed.

"You need to rest." He says bluntly and cold. I don't even know why he did all of this he didn't have to. I honestly don't remember anything after that except him saying "When you wake up there will be some water and a pill next to you take it for your hangover ... I'll call your friends and tell them your alright and that they should check on you later ... goodnight baby girl."

{Recap over}

I look at my vomit. I feel helpless. Tears start to trickle down my face. When I finally get the strength to pick myself up, I look around my room to find the mop.

{After cleaning up vomit}

I decided I'm not ready to check my phone just yet. I grab my wash cloth and towel and head to the shower. I take my puke smelling clothes off and hop in the shower.

{Ya should know how a shower goes so yeah I don't think I need to explain}

Getting out the shower , I brush my teeth and put a face mask on. I finally decided to check the time seeing it's only 10:30am , I lay back in my bed and fall asleep.

(// Next chapter will be completely text and maybe a few insta & snap post .. It will still be the day after the party because parties are meant to be remembered and who doesn't love a good aftermath. On a different note Jahseh's 4 month anniversary just pasted and I don't really know how I feel about it ... I try to look on the more positive side but I do miss him very much ... if anyone needs to talk I'm here to . I know this is sensitive topic for some but don't keep your feeling bottled up and even if it's not about him I'm all ears. I love you all till next time //)

1077 words , Unedited