Do Us Part (boyxboy)

Wishes

They never expected to stay the night, but Seita and Ari had surprisingly had such a good time. By the time they were planning to wrap things up, Seita’s mom insisted that, “it’s too dangerous to attempt to drive back home”. There they were, in Seita’s twin-sized bed, trying to squeeze together in order to keep each other from falling off. The pullout bed below was definitely an option, but neither of them really wanted to do that.

His head pressed against Ari’s chest, Seita could barely sleep. With everything that happened, he still couldn’t get his grandfather out of his mind. As stern and as stubborn as the old man was, he was a lot livelier than people even half his age. He dreamed, and he kept dreaming because that’s what his grandfather thought life was about. He could remember it like it was yesterday, Seita was a sophomore in high school, and he was sitting in the living room, keeping his grandpa company as he did his homework. Grandpa would go on and on about stories of the home land, and how he’d walk down dirt streets, there were fresh eggplants and radishes right outside his porch, and things of that nature, but then he said something that stuck to Seita for as long as he could remember.

“I’ve seen so many things, being as old as I am. Pain, suffering, true love, also, true stupidity. But one of the most unforgettable things about my long life was holding my children and my grandchildren. It’s an amazing feeling, holding them, and knowing that you’ll be a part of their lives and raising them. I might be asking for too much, as I’ve lived a long a fruitful life, but it would be nice if I could be a part of my great-grandchildren’s lives as well. It would be a blessing if such a thing could happen.”

Seita almost chuckled to himself, his grandfather was always going on about things like that. But with news that he hadn’t been doing well…that really hit home. As resilient as his grandfather was, he knew eventually, that death was inevitable. He had learned that lesson with his uncle, who didn’t get to see his grandchild. Life was a scary thing, it really was, expectations and hope could be crushed within a matter of seconds. He swallowed, the dryness in his throat was really getting to him, as well as the sensitivity of this topic. Seita’s fingers would lightly grip Ari’s shirt, the go back to relaxing as he overthought in his head.

“Ari?” Seita called out, in a voice that was too timid for his personality. Seita could feel Ari’s body as it slightly jerked.

“Mm?” Ari replied. With the way his voice sounded, Seita knew that Ari was only seconds away from sleep, and he felt bad for waking him up, but he had to get this off his chest.

“Babe, maybe we should start talking about kids…,” Seita said, the timid voice still there. Ari held his breath, but then he let go after an almost unnatural period of time.

“We’ve only been married for three months, it’s definitely not the right time to be talking about this. You said so yourself. Seita, what’s this about?”

“I’m scared that my grandpa won’t make it. Anything can happen you know, it doesn’t even matter if he’s old, he can die at any time, and that’s really scary to me. He wants to see a great-grandkid before he goes, and I want to be able to give him that Ari. He deserves it. I learned from my uncle’s death that anything could happen at any time, and that really scares me—.”

“Seita, stop,” Ari said, touching his face. Seita stopped, and looked up at Ari. His eyes were closed, probably too tired to try and open them.

“Seita, it’s so sweet that you wanna do that for your grandpa, but this is serious. It’s another life, it’s not a game, and that needs to be realized by the both of us. Even at our age, we’re not mature enough to be raising a baby, we’re almost like kids ourselves. Seita, I’m about to fall asleep, so we can continue this conversation at a suitable time, okay?” Ari asked. Seita didn’t need to respond, he knew almost immediately after he said “okay?” he had already fallen asleep. Seita sighed, he was still stuck there, wondering what to do, not being able to go to sleep for another few hours.