The Pregnancy

{6}Beautiful

2 months later

What surprises me is that after giving birth to Ariella its like I never even had a child. My body just went right back to shape. My boobs are bigger obviously but besides that I'm pretty much the same twenty year old woman trapped in a nineteen year old girl body.

I look down at Ariella in her crib as she smiled at me as I tickle her. Sometimes I get pretty emotional when I see her. She has his big green eyes and his curly hair. If you look closely you could see she looked a lot like him. Her hair is curly like his but is brown like mine and her eyes, I don't know she just looks at me and its like he's looking at me.

I've spoken to him. He still doesn't know about his daughter but we've spoken. He want me but I keep pushing him away because one if I get back together with him I'll feel totally selfish for leaving Ariella out of it and two he'll find out about her and wouldn't want to be in a relationship with me again so either way there is no way we could ever be together. I'm trying to get him to move on but I'm failing miserable. Like last week he pinned me to a wall and kissed me, it was so hard to not kiss back but I didn't and I pushed him away. I wanted him so did my body but I know that I can't and won't have him so I am rejecting him. He wouldn't go out with another girl I've tried harder than you think but I can't spend a lot of time with him trying because I have to take care of Ariella.