Miles Away | Nick Mara

Thirteen

"I can't do this again," I said slowly.

Our hands slowly detached. My fingers traced his palm gently until we weren't touching anymore. I looked up to meet his eyes; the sadness and disappointment in his stare made my heart and chest ache.

"Yeah," he tried his best to smile. "I get it."

"I'm so sorry."

He shrugged. "It's okay, I understand. I don't think I was expecting you to feel the same anyway."

I sighed, pushing a piece of hair behind my ears with my fingers. He looked at me for a moment, then looked away, redirecting his stare to the subtle glitters of stars in the sky outside, through the window.

"The way I feel about you won't change." He said quietly, without meeting my eyes.

As I tried to figure out what to say, Brandon opened the door and walked in with the others, holding bags of food in both hands. Me and Nick both stood up with fake smiles on our faces. I quickly swept away a tear from my eyes, making sure that nobody noticed. We started to unpack, placing all the food on the coffee table for everybody to eat.

"Soooo," Zion smiled. "What were you guys doing?"

"Nothing," I said. "We weren't doing anything."

He nodded slowly, showing hints of sarcasm. I sighed and rolled my eyes, making him laugh. We munched down on the food, stuffing as much orange chicken as we could at once. It took us barely 20 minutes to finish everything. By 8:30 PM, we were sipping coke and talking, some of us sitting on the sofa and others on the floor.

"We should probably go soon," Austin said. "We have practice early tomorrow morning."

The boys agreed and stood up, putting their drinks away and picking up the rest of their stuff. I waved goodbye as they headed out the door and towards the elevator. Once they'd disappeared behind the doors, I began to clean up; throwing trash into the bin, putting cushions and pillows back where they belong... By the time I was finished, my eyes were heavy and slowly closing. After quickly changing into pajamas, I crashed onto my bed and looked through my phone.

Zion had texted me a few minutes ago: "What happened with you and Nick?"

I texted back, saying: "What do you mean?"

Soon enough, we were texting back and forth, discussing what had happened at the apartment before the rest of the boys had returned.

Z: He's acting all sad and weird.

A: Well maybe he's having an emotional thing that has nothing to do with me.

Z: Fr Aubri.. I'm serious

A: I know. I'm sorry.

Z: Well??

A: He told me he's still in love with me.

Z: Yeah obviously.

A: ?!

Z: You're dumb lmfao

A: ....

Z: So I'm guessing you didn't say it back

A: Yeah.. Because I don't

Z: Yeah okay if you say so

A: Shut up

Z: I think both of y'all still have a thing for each other

A: I don't have a thing for him

Z: Mmhm

A: Maybe a little

Z: You're just scared to say it because you don't wanna end up like you did last time

A: Maybe

Z: It's different now. Why're you still scared

A: I'm not scared

Z: Mmhm

A: Maybe a little

Z: He's different. He's not stupid anymore. He became smart.

A: Lmao what

Z: He knows he hurt you and since he's smart now he won't do it again

A: I can't go through that again, Z. It messed me up

Z: Yeah, but it messed him up too. You just weren't here to see it.

A: Ughh I don't know

Z: Worth a try

A: I'll think about it

Z: Okay

A: Even though I'm pretty sure I don't feel that way about him anymore

Z: Stfu Aubri you're dumb

A: ...

Z: Just do what your heart says. That's advice from mommy Kuwonu.

A: Haha okay, I'll think about it.