Miles Away | Nick Mara

Thirty Five

After quickly stopping by my apartment and stuffing a few necessities into a bag, I headed to the airport. In the car, I bought a plane ticket going straight to New Jersey. Edwin drove silently; no questions, no comments.

We arrived at the terminal. I stepped out of the car but paused before closing the door. Turning back, I looked at Edwin.

"Tell Nick I said sorry."

He shrugged. "You should tell him yourself."

I nodded, thanked him for the ride, and closed the door. He drove off as soon as I entered the airport. Quickly checking in and finding my way to the gate, I was inside the plane in the next 20 minutes. Kids surrounded me, families travelling to or from vacation, couples sat together, smiling as they swiped through the pictures that they had taken on their trip. I sighed.

Taking out my phone, I tried to think of how to text Nick. I wanted to apologize, but I didn't know how to word it. A simple 'I'm sorry' seems obvious, but I felt like I should explain. Explain why I pushed him away, and why I don't want him involved in family affairs. I started typing.

Hey. I'm sorry. When I heard about my mom I became defensive. I'm not really sure how to explain, but I'll try, and I hope you can sort of understand what I'm trying to say. You were always so close to my family. When we first started dating, I introduced you to my parents, and they loved you. When we broke up, it wasn't just me that was hurting, it was my parents too. My mom became attached to you, and treated you the way she would treat a son, and she was heartbroken that we'd broken up. I'm not saying that I think we're going to break up, but I feel like I need to be a bit more cautious of who I introduce you to, and what parts of my life I involve you in. It's just me being defensive. It's not your fault at all, and I'm so sorry if it came across as me completely pushing you away.

Shortly after I'd sent a message, he replied. I was scared to pick up the phone. The possibilities of what he might've said scared me.

It's okay. It hurt, maybe a little, but I understand. It's a part of your life that I don't contribute to. Yet..? Haha. But jokes aside, it's your private life and I respect that. I'm sorry for pushing it. I didn't realize, but now that I look back at it, I can see why you did what you did. I hope your mom is okay. I hope you're okay too. I'm forever here for you. Stay safe. I love you, Aubri.

Tears started to form. Tears of relief? Tears of sadness? Tears of happiness? I couldn't tell. But I was grateful that he understood. Before I could send a reply, a flight attendant asked me to turn my phone off. After quickly sending a heart, I switched to airplane mode.