Miles Away | Nick Mara

Thirty Seven

My mom lay in the hospital bed, tubes coming in and out of her body, pushing fluids through her system. Her eyes were closed, body limp. I held her hand, feeling the life slowly flush out of her body. The doctor said that I should talk to her.

"I know it seems awkward and weird," he looked at me gently. "But she can hear you. Even if she doesn't respond. And it'll stimulate her brain activity when she processes what you say."

I'd nodded and promised him that I'd at least try to say something. Now, I was sitting beside her, holding her hand, thinking of something to say. I didn't know what she wanted to hear.

"Well," I started slowly. "Everyone's been telling you to be strong and wake up. I think you get the message now."

I paused.

"I miss you, mom." I teared up. "I broke up with him. Again. I don't know what happened. There's so much going on, and I need you here with me. But you're lying here, and you probably can't even hear me."

My phone rang. I let go of her hand, reaching for my back pocket. It was Zion. I stepped out of the room and walked outside the hospital. The sun was shining, clear sky, a chilly breeze.

"Hello?"

"Aubri?"

I sighed. "Yeah."

"You good?"

I hesitated. "I guess."

"You and Nick broke up again."

"Yeah."

"You're not god."

I paused, then sighed. "...Yeah."

I could hear his concern through the speaker.

"How's he doing." I asked cautiously.

"He's been in bed all day. He came downstairs to eat leftovers from a few days ago but other than that I haven't seen him. Yo he hasn't played Fortnite for three whole days."

I laughed.

"What've you done to him Aubri."

I sighed, sinking down onto the floor, leaning my back against the concrete wall of the hospital building. Nurses and doctors walked past me, coming in and out of the hospital, patients on wheelchairs were pushed out into the sunlight, smiles on their faces as if they hadn't seen the clear sky in years. I couldn't help but smile and wave as a little girl in a wheelchair, bandages wrapped around both of her legs, waved a hello.

"You still there?"

"Yeah." I said quickly.

"What just happened."

"Nothing." I returned my attention to the ground, still clutching the phone in my hands. "I think it was a mistake."

I sighed.

"What?" He said.

"It was a mistake."

"Well yeah duh."

I laughed. "I'm being serious Z. It was impulsive. I don't know."

He was silent for a moment. "Go tell him this what's the point of telling me."

"I can't." I sighed. "Unless I go back to L.A."

"What do you mean unless." He paused. "You're not coming back?"

"I don't know. Depends on how things go with my mom."

"Yo what the heck." He sounded slightly upset. "Well I mean whatever you decide to do we'll support it. But Nick's gonna be depressed for another frickin year."

I laughed, but inside, I was just as scared and upset as Nick would be if I told him. My mom seemed to be slowly dying, and I didn't want to leave.