Repeating Apologies (Austlan Cashby)

I Wont Let This Bring Me Down

Austin's POV:

I was laying in my hospital bed when Aaron came bursting through the door.

Here we go.

" How could you do something like that? How did you even get the guts to? Why? Why would you do that? Alan loves you! Why would you do that to him?!" His voice was raising and he was on the brink of crying

" Aaron chill out dude."

" Me?! Me?! You chill out! Your the one who did this! Why the fuck?! Austin what were you thinking?!"

" I wasn't."

" Well then how do we explain that to Alan? He's blaming himself you know." Aaron huffed, sitting down beside me

" Why the fuck would he do that?" I asked, shocked

" Because, you fucking moron, you chose him over Oliver and it pushed you to the edge. He thinks that if you were happy you wouldn't have tried to kill yourself you fucking idiot."

" Can we stop with the insults?" I Flinched

" No. Not until Alan feels better."

" Well I'm kinda struck here so...''

" He's outside the door right now. Crying. Again."

" Why didn't he just come in then?"

" Here's scared you blame him too." Aaron shrugged

" Oh for fuck sake." I groaned

Aaron got up and opened the door before shoving Alan in and closing it. He stood there until I spoke up.

" It's not you're fault." I whispered

" Then Why? Why did you do it?"

" Because I was mad. Nothing was going my way. You were hurt. Phil was being put away and Tino won't get over him. I just wanted you be happy. I wasn't thinking and I'm so sorry. God Alan I'm so fucking sorry." I told him as the tears ran down my face

He climbed into the bed and I put my arms around him. He kissed me and I tried to remember to be gental. When we broke apart he kissed my cheek and buried his head into my chest.

--------

When I woke up I was alone. I sighed heavily. What the fuck was wrong with me? Why did I have to do that?

" Knock knock." I herd a timid voice say

" Tini?" I whispered

" Yeah. It's me." He mumbled sitting next to my bed

" So?" I questioned

" I've found out how much of a dick Phil really is." He said sadly

" What happened?" I asked, sitting up a bit

" I went to go see him before... you know.... and he told me that I was just a part of his game. I never meant anything to him."

" Oh Tino." I said, pulling him into a hug

" He didn't even say he was sorry. He didn't look back when they took him away. I'm so sorry Austin. I should have listened."

" It's okay. Anyway, you know when I get out of here?"

" Nah. But Alan is sleeping in the waiting room."

" Damn. He needs to get some actual sleep."

" I know."

We were interrupted but a docter coming in.

" Mr. Carlile. You'll be getting out in a couple days it looks like. Also, there's a small Ginger boy asking to see you."

I nodded.

Alan came in and smiled at me. The first one I'd seen in a while.

" Hey. Oliver is here."

" Why are you smiling?" I asked

" He's having a baby!"

" Guys cant have babies, Alan."

" No. Hannah is!"

" That's awesome." I said, smiling at a very proud looking Oliver as he came through the door

back again bitches

.

OKAY SO I CAN EXPLAIN. MY BATTERY HAS GONE TO SHIT.

IT WON'T KEEP CHARGE SO UNTIL I GET A NEW ONE I WONT BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING.

THIS STORY IS NOT OVER.

YET.

I HAVEN'T GIVIN UP.

I LOVE YOU ALL.

SEE YOU <3

*Gives you huge bag of Jolly Ranchers*