You Took A Part Of Me (Cashby)

Chapter Ten

WARNING: Triggering chapter, contains self-harm. Just as a side note, if anyone is struggling, please don't hesitate to message me. I'm here for each and every one of you. <3

Okay, proceed.

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*Austin's POV*

I walked back to my dorm after trying to reason with Alan. What the hell did I do? I didn't remember doing anything too terrible after we made up, so I was confused.

Who was I kidding, though? Everyone always left at some point. I was just a jackass and nobody stuck around. Even so, Alan was special to me and I tried hard not to blow it with him. I gave my all to him, told him everything, and he just walked away with no explanation whatsoever. It hurt.

I opened my closet and reached inside for a tiny plastic bag. Inside were a few razorblades that I had grown very close to in the past few years. I opened the bag and pulled one out; my favorite one. I remembered getting it out of a cheap razor, only to find it was the sharpest one I had ever used. I only used it in the worst of situations, and this one was pretty bad. I put the bag back and shut the closet door. The tiny piece of metal shone in the palm of my hand, looking awfully welcoming. I laid down on Alan's old bed, taking in his scent again. That was enough to tip me over the edge. Tears began spilling from my eyes and staining the bare mattress. It had only been three days and I was already heartbroken. Pathetic.

I held out my arm in front of me and put the blade to my scarred flesh. My conscience kept telling me that it was just the heat of the moment and I needed to blow off steam in a different way, but my heart longed for Alan and knowing that he wasn't mine made it every bit worse. Blood spilled from my wrist.

I made one cut, two, three, four. Just when I was about to do the fifth, there was a knock. My heart pounded, hoping it was Alan. I threw on a hoodie and opened the door.

The person standing before me wasn't Alan, but Oli. What was he doing here?

"Hey, Oli," I muttered.

"Hello, how is my dear Austin?" He asked with a smile.

"Fine," I lied. I went and sat down on my bed as Oli shut the door behind him and plopped next to me.

"You don't sound it," he pointed out.

"Just tired. How did you even figure out where I live, anyways?" I inquired.

"British magic," he joked, doing some sort of jazz hands thing. "Where's the redhead kid?"

"He left," I said sadly.

"Why ever would he do that?" Oli asked in shock. His big, brown eyes looked up at me sympathetically. I just wanted to melt to him.

"I don't know...he wouldn't tell me," I mumbled, choking back the sobs that were coming. Oli pulled me into a hug as I let myself go.

"It's going to be okay," he comforted. "You don't need him. He's obviously a dick."

"You don't understand!" I cried. "Alan was special. He was the first person I let my walls down for since you and I broke up. I thought there was something between him and I."

"You know, we never had to break up in the first place," he said kind of bashfully.

"What do you mean?"

"I still have a lot of feelings for you, Austin," he admitted, looking at me with an expression that was borderline upset. I felt a little bit bad. Before I could get another word out, his lips were on mine. I didn't protest; I longed for the comfort of another person after all this. The fact was, I knew Oli a lot better, which meant we were bound to go a lot further.

~~~

"Okay, so how many times have you seen this Oli guy?" Nick asked. He had texted Johnny to come help us earlier because he was good at this as well, so we sat around one of the desks planning how to take Oli down.

"Only twice," I replied. "Once at McDonald's last night and then today when he threatened me."

"So maybe he's targeting you. Following you around or something to make sure you aren't with Austin," Nick suggested. Johnny, who hadn't said much, nodded in agreement.

"So do you think I should just walk around until he finds me or something?" I questioned.

"Kind of. You have to have a strategy because the entire purpose of this is to get him threatening you on tape," Nick reminded me. "So what you need to do is just go about like you usually do, la dee da, but kind of follow behind Austin. Not in a stalkerish way, but just linger a little bit. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah," I said.

"So," he continued. "You do that, and if Oli is doing what we think he's doing, then he'll eventually get suspicious and threaten you again."

"But what if he doesn't threaten me? What if he actually kills me like he said he would?" I worried.

Nick chuckled. "That's only if you make it obvious. That's the point of you just lingering around. He'll wonder what you're doing and call you out to question it. If you're not clearly doing anything wrong in his eyes, he has no reason to kill you or any of that shit."

"I feel like I'm just being set up as shark bait right now," I pointed out.

"Hoo ha ha," Nick smirked, causing all three of us to go into a fit of laughter.

"You did not just do that," Johnny said in between laughs.

"But I did," Nick challenged. So we had this moment of happiness in the middle of my crisis, and it felt amazing. It was in the middle of that when I realized how hurt Austin must have been. I also remembered one other thing; during our talk at the Memorial, he told me about his constant struggles with self-harm. I couldn't help but think he was doing it again. Somthing inside me insisted he had done it.

"Um...I gotta go for a second," I said, standing up and running out. I didn't wait for Nick's reaction, I just ran down the hall to Austin's dorm. When I got there, I heard something I couldn't believe.

"Oliver...oh god, faster..." Austin's voice moaned. No, it couldn't be. I was imagining it.

"You like that?" I heard Oli ask breathlessly. It was too horrible to be true. Tears welled up quickly, knowing Austin had succumbed to Oli's charm. I couldn't move; I was too overwhelmed. All I did sob until my head hurt and my stomach churned. The last thing I remembered was falling to the floor and passing out.