The Lament of Love and Death~A Seraph of the End fanfic [Completed]

Yu-Chan Obsession

Headcanon needed to understand: Mika is very depressed and believes Yu hates him.

Timeline: at the exact same time as the beginning part, literally directly after Mitsuba wonders that

(Mika's POV, 1st Person)

I jump from the helicopter at the same time as Laucus and Rene. However, somehow I land one second later than them. Maybe it had something to do with wind currents or whatever? I didn't care enough to pursue the matter, however, as another, more common thought to frequent my brain passed through, and I was instantly and regrettably hooked on it.

The thought that had occurred to me was that were I not a vampire, jumping from that height would have literally been suicide. My body was far, far stronger than any human's... and the guilt of it was killing me.

I was viewed by what would have been my peers as a monster whose only desire was to drink human blood. I was an outcast and a freak to them, something that should not be.

And I believed it wholeheartedly. It was true. I had noticed I was losing more and more of what had been my humanity, calling them humans and calling vampires us or we. I... I was one of them now, just an awful bloodsucker who deserved to die.

Even my own Yu-chan wanted every single vampire dead, and I didn't blame him. ...that included myself now. I suddenly flashed back to the whole scene at Shinjuku. Well, how I remembered it, anyway.

***flashback to book four***

I saw Yu. He was alive. He was here. A tiny spark of hope kindled my dark heart for a short second. Until, that is, he stabbed me in the chest with his cursed gear. My heart shattered again, after it had just repaired itself a little. Then he looked up and saw my face.

"M-Mika?' he looked up at me, his sword still impaled in me. He recognized me. My heart, broken and repaired already too many times, came back together another time. Why had I let my heart be so hopeful when everything that had started as hope had ended in despair? Would I ever learn not to let people into my heart, for they took it with them if they left? And I had only let that one, Yu, in, but... that was already too much. You can't expect this world to let you keep anyone you love. It will steal them away from you the first chance it gets. But I hadn't accepted that yet.

"Yu!! Yes, it's me! Run away with me!" I yelled desperately, declaring my love. It had taken me so long to find him and I was convinced that I wouldn't let go of him again. "Those dirty humans are using you!" I said. But... he looked at me accusingly. I had said it too fast.

"Those... are my friends, I would never abandon them," he said, shattering my heart yet again. He had sided with the humans, the humanity which I could no longer call myself a part of.

Yu. My own Yu-chan. Wanted me dead. And if he did, so did I.

***back in the real world***

But... but I didn't even know how to grant his wish. It seemed I was invincible to myself. Even my own body was turned against me.

I hit the ground and grabbed the nearest human. Not to drink their blood. No, it there was one thing I could do, I would not give in to that. No, this was for a different reason.

"Human," I said and immediately regretted it, internally cursing myself. "I have questions for you." She looked to be about twenty... she was older than me. But of course, she didn't know that. You could never judge a vampire's age by their looks. Because once they drink human blood, usually soon after they first turn, they stop aging. All you can tell from their appearance is what age they were when they were turned. But even that is an approximation.