Letters To Myself (#Nanowrimo2017 Winning Novel!)

45,

Dear Myself,

On the first week of Christmas, guess what happened to me? I was surprised by a Secret Santa that spent money to please. OK, more practicing at rhyming is required Morwenna, that simply sucked! But someone on my College course thought it would be a fun idea to take part in some form of secret present buying for another member of the class and them having to guess who gave them the gift. If I was still in secondary school, I would have laughed, shrugged my shoulders and admire from a distance to see which friendships would survive to the end of the term. Now, I simply was on cloud nine from my Nanowrimo win and in the mood to reward another as a form of celebration. The scary part was just waiting to see which person's name I was going to pull out of a hat. And the name that I did get made me feel even more nervous about the whole situation.

It was my girl, Michelle's name that I pulled out of the hat.

Now, from her facial reactions at the time, I could immediately tell that she hadn't chosen my name but no-one seemed to want to give the game away. Biggest secret I've ever kept away from the one I love was buying an extra present for her overall Christmas cheer so the tiny lined paper tucked quietly away in the pocket of my wallet, out of harm's way. One slip-up and the exciting surprise was going to be blown. Never would live it down if things came to that. The next stressful moment that crossed my mind was just what was I going to get her? She wasn't all a make-up person, she did love books but the ones I was thinking about sadly she already had. Time was not on my side.

It was thanks to Gaia who came up with the suggestion to get her something eatable but bookish related. Obviously, chocolates and cakes sprung to mind. Nothing too rich, no coconut and certainly nothing bitter like dark chocolate, that would be thrown into the nearest bin. So, there I was now with the idea but having to find the best time to run away from the College without her suspecting anything and nab the gift. Gaia agreed to go with me to make things seem like I was helping her find the right present for her secret santa. Michelle blinked once, twice and a final time at us before turning her head away which confused me. Somehow, she was showing signs of not feeling well, the flu scare all over the news on that particular morning didn't help matters. But, if she felt I was leaving her alone because I didn't love her, that was utterly false. She just needed to be out of the picture for a while.

Into the town were two girls, College IDs flapping across our chest as we weaved in and out of shoppers, all looking for the best deals and preparing to fight to the death to get the last item on a shelf. I also knew that because being a student meant getting a discount in the city's majority of shops, the overall cost would be far cheaper than if I was an adult not in education. Gaia got distracted in one store we went into, cheekily trying on some of the free samples of lipgloss and making funny pout faces in one of the large mirrors. Giggling, I snapped a quick photo of her having fun and another creative idea at that moment reached my soul. A lifeboard of friends, holidays and just generally happy memories.

On reaching the chocolate shop, the second I noticed the pretty packaging and Jane Austen related theme, that was my secret santa done and dusted. Michelle was going to love this! Gaia clapped in delight after the purchase was made and quickly trotted over towards the nearby Shakeaway store for milkshakes. College students love to gather around outside in large groups and joke about anything cinema or online related. So, no surprise when I noticed some guys I knew from a long time ago all laughing over a viral video on Snapchat that even Michelle's parents had seen. My favourite milkshake was ordered and looking forward to having a nice me treat. Until...

She showed up at the Shakeaway door entrance in fits of tears, my beautiful love had obviously been triggered by something when I was away. Never in my life had I seen a loud room go completely silent because of a sudden outburst. Jumping up, I pulled her into my arms and whispered anxiously to try and ask what happened. The result of what she told me was truly shocking. Someone had found out about my girl's sexuality that at College, both of us agreed not to share personal details about and now had started threatening her! Blood started to boil from deep within, I was determined to find the person and make them pay for upsetting my love. Tammy, our lecturer had to know what was going on but my girl was too scared in case they laughed at her and be kicked off the course. Ridiculous I said to myself, that wasn't going to happen.

And then, taking her hand, I revealed the biggest secret, I was her secret santa. She gently smiled through her tears and was keen to see what was going to be handed over to her. But, there was another matter to be dealt with. After speaking to Tammy, Michelle's parents were called and arrived at the campus quickly to pick both of us up. The student who was being out of line was still walking around nearby, so for our safety, we were taken home to be looked after which suited us both just fine. Peace and warmth along with the chocolates I placed into the palm of her hand, little kiss to follow and then, the delicious scent filling the room of a sweet treat we agreed was made to perfection.

Going to round off this letter for now but I will let you know what happens regarding that student and how the College are going to deal with it. Hopefully, they will do the right thing and prove to haters that love wins, every single time.

Yours,

Morwenna.