Letters To Myself (#Nanowrimo2017 Winning Novel!)

30,

Dear Myself,

To the person who said that editing a novel or any form of writing is a piece of cake honestly needs to backtrack on that comment. This week, I have edited a few of my Camp Nanowrimo chapters each day, first on the computer and then printing out a physical copy to flick through but we'll come onto that later. First, I had to identify with myself what time of the day was the moment I felt productive and could get things done without slipping back into the lazy habit of lying down in bed, iPad on and with some random YouTube video blaring on full volume. Of course, Michelle had to be let in on the reason why I was going to be out of sight from everyone this week. Still going out to get some sunshine though and boost my spirits.

Switching my laptop on, I first identified some easy to notice spelling and grammar errors that I could fix with the simple click of the mouse then I would pause for a while before moving into repetition and paragraphing. The plan of action was to do a few chapters at a time each day and once completed, I would then print out the whole novel and get some others who were willing to read it, the chance to dive into the action. At first, the task at hand seemed to be relaxing until the screaming noises of groups of kids outside having a birthday party opposite on one of the days gave me a headache. I had to laugh a little when Michelle texted me from downstairs asking how Narnia was. On saying she should come up and see, I waited for the familiar footsteps and then the cute giggle but none came.

On chapter four of my draft, I decided to go to the bathroom and that was when she jumped out on me. Turns out she was hidden on the landing the whole time and waited for me to leave the bedroom so she could surprise me. Idiot. But a genius one at that. Slowly, she bought in a tray of gingerbread cookies and hot fruit tea that she drinks buckets of and sat down cross-legged on the bed to watch me edit. I told her if there was anything I wanted her to do, that was reading my story. I know previously that I wrote about my reluctance to share my personal writing but you know what, to improve and take notes on for future reference, I have to find readers who are willing to give my writing a go. It's now Saturday as I write this letter up and the editing is almost over. All of the basic checks have been completed but what's left is the feedback.

Michelle has a paper copy bound and printed sitting on her bedside table but she's been busy with trying to find a Saturday job just to tide her over until the Christmas break. She's been to various interviews for all sorts of roles: Supermarket checkout operators, selling clothes, working in admin etc. The list goes on and on. It's strange to see her parents supportive about this but mine were against the whole idea. Speaking of parents, I caught a glimpse of their car the other day while I was in a cafe down the road drinking a milkshake. In that instant, the car did slow down but then drove on into the distance. No-one got out but I can tell that they did notice me sitting there alone. Call me selfish for not wanting to be in contact with them but from what I've heard from a friend of Michelle who's Mum knows my Mum, they've been arguing about me and the future of Jasmine. A massive change from their cute and loved-up romance earlier in the year.

On searching around online during a period of boredom, I found a writing website that was free to join and upload stories and poems too for feedback. It sounded too good to be true but my heart told me just to click the sign-up button and try. My details submitted into the form, I was ready to go! Uploading my novel took a while due to the large file size it had but once ready to go, I kept the tab for the site open but moved onto YouTube to watch some more videos on how to plan your writing schedule and promoting your works to a wider audience. Michelle popped her head around and smiled as she held my book close to her. She liked it, I could tell from her expression. As a result of seeing her smile, some happy memories came to mind about the times I went to my local library as a toddler and borrow books on a regular basis, being obsessed with the sheer number of them just sitting there on the shelves and calling over towards me in an attempt to grab my attention. When one of my Aunts was still alive, I would use to read to her from a library book I had borrowed. There could be a possibility that my story could be out there on shelves too...

Looking after children and writing, sounds like a stressful combination to have but I could live with that and so could Michelle if she found the courage to write. I bet she wants to but just hasn't found that moment or idea that pushes her off into the world away from reality. With my help, I could get her started but that's only if she is up to the challenge. We shall see. With my novel edited and posted online, two comments I've read and responded to from total strangers but who have read and given me a chance, I'm grateful that writing has helped me during this rough patch in my life journey. I hope it does continue to help.

Thanks Diary for safely protecting my writing, I appreciate it. And I guess thanks to my Dad for the gift of you. Bye.

Yours,

Morwenna.