Playing Fearless

Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Jace volunteered to drive me home and did so in the car I’d taken from the garage, assuring me that his sister could pick up his. I felt as if after yesterday we were leaving cars all over the place.

We didn’t talk much on the ride home, mostly because I was mentally and physically exhausted. The silence was far from awkward, if anything it was nice and I found myself enjoying it, occasionally smiling at him when our eyes met.

When we arrived back home Jace walked me inside and left after he’d exchanged a few words with Luke. Probably figuring we needed some time alone.

“Can I change first?”

“Of course,” Luke said after giving me a hug. “I’ll make you something to eat.”

After snuggling up in a hoodie and a pair of sweats ­– taking a shower was out since wrapping the cast would take too much time – I came downstairs to chicken that was sizzling in the pan. The smell was wonderful and I sat down by the kitchen island, watching as Luke prodded the chicken slightly.

“I’m sorry,” I blurted when I couldn’t take the silence anymore.

Luke turned around and smiled at me. “It’s okay, just promise me you’ll never do that again.” He sat down next to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. “I understand why you did it, but next time please stay so we can work through it. I’ll always put your needs first, I promise you that.”

“I promise.” I hoped I could live up to my word, I really did. “Seeing her again, it just brought back so much and after yesterday I couldn’t stand being in the same room as her any longer.”

Luke nodded, “I understand. Are you okay to talk about this tonight or would you rather wait until tomorrow?”

“I just want to get it over with,” I answered honestly.

“Okay,” he said and then got up to put some food on our plates. I wasn’t aware how hungry I was until I put some food in my mouth. Chicken and rice had never tasted this good.

With a cup of cocoa in my hand and my feet tucked under me on the couch I sat facing Luke, trying to find the right words to say. It suddenly dawned on me that there were no right or wrong words here, because no matter what I did it would feel as if I was picking open an old wound. It would hurt just as much regardless of where I started.

“She wants me to come with her, doesn’t she?” I finally asked Luke, because asking questions felt better than having to conjure explanations.

He countered my question with one of his own. “Do you want to go with her?”

I shook my head and willed the water that was flooding my vision to stay put. “She’s done it before. She shows up, says she’s clean and I go with her. Then she falls off the wagon, again, and I’m left to clean up the mess until eventually having to go to yet another family. I’m sick of it.” Anger sparked in my chest and I pursed my lips. A sob escaped me and I met Luke’s stare where he was sitting silently waiting for me to get everything off my chest.

“I don’t want to leave, Luke. I don’t want to go with her,” the water finally escaped and soaked my face while my chin constricted as I fought against my own emotions. “I’m exhausted, I don’t want to move again. I want to just be a normal teenager for once.”

Luke took the cup from my hand and placed it on the coffee table before pulling me into a hug. He stroked my hair, which made me sob harder because it was a small gesture of affection, but to me it spoke volumes.

“You’ll stay here,” he said, his voice was firm and I knew he meant it. “You’re not going anywhere. I won’t allow it.” That last bit made me smile into his shoulder.