Siriusly, Time is of the Essence III

Chapter 12

SURPRISE!!!!!!!!! ANOTHER UPLOAD!!!

"Sirius? Sirius wake up!" The light had turned off, why had the light been turned off? I tried to get out of the bed. "Siri-!" He grabbed my arm and pulled me back into him. His nightmares were horrible, he'd spent so long in the dark that we had to sleep with a light on. There were times he would wake up screaming or thrashing. Then, there were other times he was just reacting to an old memory. He wasn't awake, just staring blankly at me like I was some cruel monster. Those were the most horrifying. The light had gone out and I couldn't figure out which time this was.

I was frozen as I lay there, my heart hammering a speedy beat under my chest as I tried not to make sudden movements, tried not to breathe to fast. His hair was soft as he hovered over me, it tickled my face like flower petals. He'd shaven that scraggly beard he'd managed to grow in Azkaban and trim his mustasche. He inhaled as he nuzzled into my neck before shaking his head as though he were a wet dog getting water out of his ears. With a wave of his wand the lights were on again, a dim star in the ink of darkness. "Lynnie?" He looked at me, surprised as he took in my relief that he was awake. "What happened?" He looked around the room and then at me, checking for damages. "A-are you alright? Did I hurt you?" He brought a rought hand to my face with such gentleness that I didn't realise he was moving my hair away from my neck to check for marks.

"No." I squeaked as he released me finally.

"Are you sure?" The lights were on fully now, chasing away any shaodws that might have lingered.

I nodded as I sat up with him, smiling a bit to reassure. "You didn't do anything except scare me a bit. The lights had turned off somehow. You were tossing and groaning. I couldn't wake you. I- I got up to turn the lights back on and you grabbed me. It didn't hurt, just.... surprised me." He hugged me to him. He was still quite boney, but his appetite was putting some meat back on his bones. It didn't matter though. In his aarms like this, I felt a safeness that I thought I would never feel again. This safeness was kindling a fire I thought was long dead, and I hadn't even realised it was dwindling as the years passed. It was hope, hope for the future and solace for the past. I'd started giving up throughout the years, especially when I realised that Wormtail had to get away. He had to help Voldemort rise to his former glory for Harry to defeat him once and for all.

"Did I do anything else?" Sirius asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"You- you smelled me. And then you woke up." I looked at his tired face as he closed his eyes in deep thought. "What was the dream Sirius?" He opened his eyes, unwilling to tell me as his gaze slid past. "Sirius, how can I help you if you won't let me?"

"You can't help." I fought the urge to recoil, the feeling as though he'd just slapped me in the face at his outright denial.

"Let me try. Please Sirius." I begged, hugging him.

He sighed, I thought he was going to deny me again. "It- it's sa bout the night Lily and James were killed. The last thing I ever said to you was a lie. I- I thought you'd hate me. The memory was used against me several times." He hugged me close, tucking my head under his chin. "For years, I thought when I got out.... I thought you'd be angry enough not to believe me, to keep Faith away. I thought I'd never see either of you again."

"Sirius, I love you." I pulled away and grabbed his face so that he would look at me. "I have always loved you. I've loved you ven when you pushed me into the lake when we first met. I've loved you through hard times and easy times, like when I caught you making out with Lillith Collins our fourth year. I loved you when you lied to me and I loved you when you were gone to Azkaban. Sure, I'll be mad at you- heck, I'll even be furious with you, but I will always love you. I will always believe in you. Nothing will ever change that. And I'll always be here for you."