Simply and Utterly Yours

Chapter 10: Forewarning Without the Warning

Chapter 10: Forewarning Without Warning

People tend to hope. When there is hope, then there is humanity. When there is Humanity, then there is something called despair. People hope for the best and brace themselves for the worst. I used to just brace myself for the worst. It's what kept me alive. Because hope can cause people to do stupid and irrational things. Ugly and horrid things for the greater good. Hope can be beautiful, but it is a necessary ingredient in despair.

Prom. It's the one word every high schooler knows. Well, that, and sex, but most people still lack the common sense about that one. Prom was coming up. I knew it from the posters slung across the halls and all the whispers about it. Everyone was chattering. I just sighed. There was no way I was going, so it just was stupid that everyone was talking about it around me. Even Tessa was starting to talk about it like it actually mattered.

“It's the biggest thing ever! I cannot wait!” Tessa exclaimed. She was practically buzzing with excitement. Her blond curls bouncing up and down and her twinkling blue eyes riveted on me.

I nodded and I could tell she wasn't paying attention to me. I was sulking. I knew I was because I had already named the color of my school's floor. I dubbed it Puke White. A fitting name might I add.

“I need a date!” She screeched in my ear. “Oh my god! What if I can't find anyone? Kyle, we're heading into heartbreak here. I need to know if you know of any attractive men out there.” I stared at her like she was the robber, who looked like a potential murderer, that broke into my home and only took the butter knives.

“Who's attractive?” I felt an arm sling around me. I looked next to me and found a grinning Jack. I smiled at him and he smiled back. I really just wanted to lean in, then, and show him how happy I was that he was here. However, we were in the middle of the school hallway and Jack had let his arm drop. The moment was gone, and once again, I was sulking about prom.

“Weeeelll, as you may have heard Prom is on the horizon and I was wondering if you would like to accompany me?” Tessa displayed a shining, albeit, maleficent smile.

I looked at her like she was the Joker, but not crazy.

Jack scratched the back of my head. “Hate to break it to ya, Tess, but I'm kind of gay and monogamous.” I smiled at his answer.

Tessa huffed. “Where am I going to find a date?” She decided to look at me furiously then.

“Hey! Don't look at me! I already told you I'm not going. Just ask around. I'm sure one of your friends will want to go with you.” I didn't mean for it to sound scathing, but I saw Jack look at me curiously and I knew I sounded as angry as I was.

All the chattering around me was building up. All the prom proposes and all the posters. They all seemed to be just laughing at me.

I just felt this feeling twist in my stomach at the thought of it.

I knew where I was. I was in Dryden. Where homophobia breeds like the end of the world is upon us. Where the thought of two guys kissing makes a straight guy practically throw up.

Where I've been beaten and kicked without any remorse.

Where I met Jack.

I could feel his hand near mine. I ached to hold it. To take his hand and run away together, where we could be without any obstacles. Where we could just live happily ever after.

But this definitely didn't feel like a fairytale to me. The love was there, but so was the fear. The terrifying realization that if I even attempted to be different I'd probably be put in the hospital again. Jack could be put in the hospital again.