Simply and Utterly Yours

Chapter 6: Falling in Love With Chicken

Okay guys, I have an editor now, which is freaking awesome. So this chapter is dedicated to her and you should totally check out her amazingly awesome stories! :D

Now on to the story...

Chapter 6: Falling In Love With Chicken

You feel like you're drowning in a sea of your own regrets and pains. It hurts so much more than people make it out to be. It's almost like you can't help but feel that in that moment literally everything is wrong in this world. Well, at least, in your world. I felt like something was pulling me under the water. I couldn't help but feel that somehow it was me that tied myself to the rock that was dragging me under. Deeper and deeper, darker and darker, till I would suffocate under my own mistakes.

Today was the day Jack and I were going to try and go on a couple more dates. We just wanted to feel each other out, without having to worry about if we were moving too fast. It was perfect and simple. I was comfortable with it and Jack was too. Or at least, he was understanding about it. I felt lucky. I was actually happy and without doubts, for the first time in a long time. I sighed as I reached the library.

Jack found me a couple minutes later and we walked to our class. Hands slightly gripping each other’s.

The hours flew by in a blur and I found myself at my locker. My shoulder was slightly throbbing, but that wasn't anything new. I had yet to even try to open my locker, because I was just so tired. It almost pained me to think that I still had lunch and a few more hours. I sighed.

It wasn't all that bad though. I still had Jack. Understanding and compassionate Jack, who would probably put his arms around me and give me the best hug ever. I swear his hugs could probably cure cancer. He had been amazing the past few days, respecting my boundaries and, even going so far as to yelling at the ones who push and shove me. It's comforting, but it didn't make everything better. He had tried to talk to me about it actually.

“Why do you let them hurt you like that?” We were sitting at our table. Tessa wasn't there, probably off into another clique, she has a new one every week.

I felt my heart clench. “What?”

“Why do you let them push you around?” He sounded so... angry. I didn't know what I was supposed to say. I didn't really have an answer. One did come to mind, though. But it was pathetic. I couldn't say that in front of Jack. It was silent for a moment, before he asked again.

“Why do you let them hurt you?” This time I could tell he tried to be calmer, maybe more understanding. I took a deep breath.

“Because...” My excuse wasn't good enough.Just like I am. Why is it every time I try to sort through my feelings I want to cry?

Jack looked at me; his eyes were hazel that day. They were bright, alive, and full of emotions that I could barely comprehend. He reached across the table to grip my hand.Holding hands with another boy, when had my life became like this?

“You can tell me. I won't judge you.”But you will. Everyone does.

His hand gripped mine and I felt my voice speak without my permission.

“Because... It's easier.” I heard his breath hitch. I felt the words crawl up my throat, but I held my breath in. It's easier to deal with things you've always dealt with. It's easier to just pretend that every thing's okay. Jack's hand tightened around mine. I felt his fingers run over my knuckles. I let out a sigh. I didn't want to be here. I didn't even want to go home. I didn't know where I wanted to go. But, I knew that I wanted Jack there with me. If, to just, hold my hand and tell me the world isn't such a bad place.