Half Full

Chapter 15

It's been over a week and I haven't seen Ryder in class. I'm kind of relieved that I haven't had to look at his face since my freak out and the kiss we shared.

"Don't tell me you are going to run in this weather." Sam is eyeing me carefully while I put my sneakers on and unplug my iPod from my laptop.

"It's just a little rain. I will manage." I throw a reassuring smile her way and leave the room.

I step outside and hear thunder rumble, and I shiver. I hate thunder but I know if I don't run today I will spend most of the night turning over and over on my bed. Running became my addiction. I let everything go when I'm moving my feet forward. And that is what I need to do right now. Let everything go. Run.

I reach the running trail and I put my headphones on and let the music set the rhythm. I run at a steady pace. My hood on my head and my eyes focused on the road in front of me. I try to push everything away. Jimmy. Ryder. My past. My future. I push all of this away and do my best to keep my mind clear. Pure.

I slip on the muddy path but I manage to steady myself. Great, all I need is to fall down in that freaking mud; I think, while looking down and avoiding the watery traps. I round out the familiar curve and now I'm already five miles down but I don't feel tired so I push for another circuit. Picking up speed, even though I should keep to the pace I was in, I run forward. A sixth mile down. The brightness of nearby lightning, flashes in front of me and I take a deep breath. I look up at the sky and I feel my foot sliding on something slippery. My ass lands in a puddle of water. Crap! I try to stand up but the pain in my ankle is unbearable. Great. This just had to be my luck. My shitty luck.

I sit in a puddle of mud, holding my strained ankle close and curse that I don't have my cell phone with me. Another thunder clap booms and I do my best to keep my breaths even. The rain pours harder and harder by the second as I do my best to stand up. I move my feet slowly, trying not to put too much pressure on the right foot and my strained ankle. I'm half way to the dorms when I hear my name being called by Sam.

"Sam? I'm here!" I breathe a sigh of relief and sit down on the wet grass.

"Payton! Thank God! What were you thinking, running out in this weather?" She's crouching right next to me.

"Shit! Are you ok?" She lights up her phone and directs it on my ankle. "Let me call Ryder, I can't carry you all the way to the dorms." Before I can say anything she is on the phone with her brother. The brother I don't need to see. The brother she doesn't know I kissed.

"Sam, just lend me your shoulder and we can manage." I'm tired as hell and the last thing I want is to deal with Ryder.

"He's on his way. He will be here any minute." I guess my idea was no good.

"You scared the shit out of me. I tried to call your cell but it was ringing on your bed." There is a genuine concern on her face and that makes me feel like crap.

"I was ok, till that stupid mud puddle."

"Uh-huh."

"Payton, you ok?" Ryder is next to us and his voice is full of concern.

"I'm fine," I mumble feeling embarrassed.

I feel his hands touch my ankle and I swear that the heat radiates to every cell of my body.

"Shit, it's sprained for sure." Great, just what I needed. "Loop your hands around my neck."

"What?"

"Wrap your arms around my neck Pay, you can't walk so I'm going to carry you to your room and then tomorrow, the first thing you will do is to see a doctor." I nod even though all this sounds like dry orders. Where is the guy that kissed me with so much passion a few days ago? Where is the boy who looked like he cared?

So I do what he asked me to do. I wrap my arms around his neck and the next thing I know, I'm in his arms. Maybe that's not the most romantic situation and he carries me by necessity, not by choice, but that doesn't stop me from hiding my face in his neck and breathing him in. I might even press my mouth to his neck somewhere between the red bench and the street light. I actually think I did it because he looked down at me and sighed.

"What am I going to do with you?" he asked when my right arm moved from his neck to his strong biceps, my mouth on his neck. I pretended I haven't heard anything and that the rain was loud enough to make me deaf.

"I have to get going, Ryder would you take care of her?" Sam is bailing on us at the dorm door.

"Sure thing." He says without hesitation. "Where are you going?"

"None of your business."

"I will break his shoulder for real next time."

"Then I will never speak to you again, and I mean it. That's enough. I'm not a little girl anymore. In fact, you fucked like, half a campus in the past two years and yet you keep me celibate by high jacking all my relationships, don't you think this is getting old?"

"Not with the biggest jerk on our team. Hell no!"

"Well, then I will tell Payton about every single girl you left as soon you fucked her."

"I guess you just did, huh?"

I watch Sam smile and head away and I meet Ryan's eyes for a second.

"It's not like she broke some big secret to me, come on, you are pretty famous on campus."

"Am I?"

"Kind of." I start to laugh for no reason. All of this is way too funny. Me, spraining my ankle while running in the storm, Sam finally standing up for herself and calling her brother a man-whore in front of me. I can't help but laugh.

"Just stop. There is nothing funny about this."

"You're right there is nothing funny about it." I'm still laughing while he opens the door to my room. He walks in and heads straight for my bed. He puts me down and heads over to our tiny fridge.

"I don't think there is any ice in there," I say, still laughing.

"Figured. I will be right back." He heads out the door and I roll to my side and pull the covers over me.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know my eyes open to Ryder lying next to me, his hand holding the ice pack to my ankle. I try not to freak out and I tell myself over and over in my head that this, him next me, means nothing. He is just doing what his sister asked him to do. Taking care of me.

"Why are you staring at me?" His groggy voice sounds out of place in my small bedroom.

"I'm not." I roll to my back and stare at the ceiling. "I'm ok now so you can go." I run my hand over my face and hope that he takes a cue.

"I'm pretty comfortable here." He turns to his back as well.

Great.

"Seriously I mean it, I'm ok. Thank you."

"I know you're ok. And no worries, it was nothing." His sleepy voice is drifting away.

"Ryder. You should go." I nudge him with my elbow.

"Just give me a minute." His arm swings over my waist and I stiffen. "It feels good to be close to you Pay." He murmurs while he turns to me and his lips touch my neck.

And what I could say to that? Deny that all of this feels good to me as well? No. Tell him to get up, while I wanted him to curl closer to me? No.

It felt as good to me as it felt to him, even though he was fast asleep and most probably dreaming he was in bed with one of his blond goddesses.