Love At First Janoskian

Before I Die.

"They say that life is too short, but really it doesn't feel short when you don't realise you have a time limit on your life." Jesscia Jones quoted in her diary. I had been reading this book since I found out I was dying. I'm like a bomb, I'm going to explode and hurt the ones around me and I'm willing to decrease the cascualties I make. Recently, everyone has been giving me sympathy and acting like I can't do a thing. I have a mother who will show up to my hospital appointments, and a father who can't even make the effort to try to turn up.

I've been home for a while, it's nice to be out of them four white walls that suffercated me and constantly reminded me I am ill. The smell of bacon filled the house and slipped through the cracks of my door, making my stomach cry out in hunger.

"Morning sweetheart, how are you feeling today?" My dad said softly, as he steps into my room.

I watch him stare around my room, taking in every detail there was. The light blue wall paint, the white curtains with the beige carpet. Stacks of books on the shelf and clothes on my chair, it was like he has stepped into a world he had never been in.

"I'm fine, what are you doing here?" I ask him.

"Your mother invited me over, oh and the nurse is downstairs she said." He says, still looking around.

I got up from my bed and let out a yawn. I suppose I better had get dressed and head downstairs. Once I was dressed I wrapped a cardigan around me and headed down the stairs.

"Enjoying your cake?" I ask the nurse as I peered around from the door.

"Yes thank you, I'm Sarah. You don't look like you're feeling very well." She said, giving me a smile.

"Would you be?" I hesitated.

I sat on the chair and waited for her to check my temperature and insert a needle into my arm. She had this smile that felt contagious and as if she was trying to find the positiveness out of everything I said.

********

Later on in the day, the clouds were black and joined into one. Beau was suppose to come see me an hour ago, but he still hadn't arrived. I kept making excuses for him, "Maybe he got stuck in traffic?" or "Maybe he can't make it and can't get any signal on his phone?" Either way, I knew he wasn't going to show up. I was sat on my bed and thought of a really good idea. I stood up straight away and stood on my bed, with a marker in my hand. I was going to write everything I wanted to do before I die on my wall.

"Before I Die.." I began to write.

"Dance All Night""Have Children""Get Drunk Off Champagne""Take a midnight skinny dip""Go skiing""Be Remembered""See A Shooting Star""Go Surfing""Midnight Walk On The Beach"The list went on a bit longer, but I knew I'd have to cover it some how. I dug out an old curtain that we hadn't used in a while it was a white one, I pinned in over the list making sure the writing wasn't visible. Just as I stepped off my bed Beau walked in. His fringe was flatted right down and clung to his forehead, with raindrops on his face and his top see-through he looked hotter than ever. He gave me this small smile as if he was about to come up with some lousy excuse and apologize. He began to open his mouth but before I let a word out I ran up to him and flung my arms around him. He rested his chin on my shoulder and I felt a smile spread across his face.

"What's with the curtain?" He asked, concerned.

"Oh, that? Nothing." I said as I turned to it.

"Bullshit." He said, and tried to get past me to see it.

Once Beau got past, he took his jacket off and threw it on the floor. He then lifted the curtain and read the list. I could feel myself blushing in embarrassment. He turned and faced me smiling, smiling like he had just won the lottery.

"What?" I asked, I was so confused.

"That there, is what you're going to do. All of it, and I'm going to help you." He said, grabbing his coat and putting it back on.

"What right now?" I asked.

"Yes, grab your coat." He said smiling.

"But it's 8 o'clock..." I said, putting my coat on.

He grabbed my hand and lead me out the door and down the stairs and then we put our shoes on.

"I'll just let mum know." Just as I said that, he grabbed me by the waist and pushed me out the door, closing it behind him. He put his finger against my lip telling me to be quiet. I had never been so confused in my whole life right now. We got into his black car, the air fresher he has brought for it smelt fruity and was really strong. He drove down the street and put some music on which we sung together.

"Where are we going?" I asked, as the song had finished.

"you'll see." He said, giving me a wink.

*******

"You are now at your destination." Beau still didn't know the area well enough.

He parked in the carpark and I looked straight ahead. He took me to the beach, even though it was dark it looked so pretty. The rain had just stopped and the stars had just gone up, it was like looking at a painted picture, but instead you could actually be in the picture to. I turned to see Beau smiling at me.

"Ready?" He said, planting a kiss on my cheek.

"Ready." I said, smiling.

We exited the car and walked down onto the sand together, letting the sand slip through our feet. He wrapped his arm around me as we got closer down the beach.

"Are you afraid?" He asks me as we sit on the sand.

"It comes and it goes. Some people think when you're sick you become brave and fearless but you don't." I say, staring at the sea.

"What's it like?" he asks, as if he was scared to.

"It's like getting stalked by a killer, a psycho. Like I might get killed any minute, sometimes I forget about it for hours."

"What makes you forget about it?"

"When I was with you in that field, I didn't think about it for the whole afternoon." I say, turning to see a frown on his face.

"Look at me. I'm not thinking about it now." I say, giving him a reasurring smile.