The Journey That Is Life; A Teenage Perspective

Chapter 4- Expect The Unexpected

     Couldn't help but to think to myself while walking if I should act more perfect than I am. Should I fix my hair every five seconds? Should I walk with that extra strut? Smile more? Should I be more careful of the ice and snow underneath my feet? Or should I refer to all those 'inspirational pictures' people post online saying, "Be yourself! <3". I have tried that once before, although I don't have to say the whole story for people to know that he hasn't texted me since the summer when I met him, and It's December now, so I basically gave up on that boy. I still have his number! But I wont text it; I'll use it as an excuse to say I have a football players number and the fact that I can say I have a lot of contacts on my phone. But no one needs to know that I only really talk to a close 20% of them, 2 of them being my parental units. I let out a sigh, and only then did I realize how long of silence that was, and I broke the ice.

     "You okay?" Luke asked me, looking down.

     "Oh yeah, I was just thinking." I replied, looking up.

     "Care to include me in your train of thought? You're leaving me left out here. All I was thinking about is how to break the awkward silence we just shared."

     "Wow, was it that awkward? Maybe, at least I didn't fall..." I muttered to myself, I didn’t mean to say it out loud, but sometimes I wonder if I have Asperger Syndrome, or maybe even Turrets. Knowing me though, I could have social anxiety. Even if I just go to the mall, and there is a bit of a crowd of people I don't know, I start to get mad at everything, especially if I'm with my mother, she's the punching bag to my words, but the words itself seem to forget how to come out my mouth right. If I wanted to say something along the lines of, Hey! I like your shoes! It comes out as, Shoes (I point down), I like that shit. But I wouldn't even be able to say that to my mom knowing her sense of style.

     "Ha, what was that?" He said with a smile on his face, "At least you didn't fall? Ha! If you did first I'd laugh then ask if you were okay." He winked.

     "Such a gentleman! I'd be laughing myself too." I said jokingly, nudging him on his arm. I have yet to nudge an arm so built. He wasn't that built and I wasn't going around nudging every boy I see, so I thought it was pretty fair. I let out another short sigh.

     "Thinking again?" He asked.

     I had to think of why the reason is that I sighed, sometimes they come out without warning. "Oh it's just that we're at the end of my block, and I had a great time walking quietly with you, and not slipping on the ice." I said fairly smoothly, but laughing after I finished. I looked up at him as he was looking down at me, I couldn't tell what he was looking at, maybe my eyes, or down my shirt. Either way he's beautiful eyes were stuck on me for quite sometime. I completely forgot about all the things I wanted to asked him. I didn’t need to know if he had a brother or a sister, I didn’t need to know if he has a family pet, or asking him if he wears contact lenses to make his eyes so amazing--

      A long enough time that I realized we were in the middle of the road, I didn’t even look, let alone look both ways. But I did look down from Luke’s face once I heard the distinct sound of a car horn; it grew louder, as I felt a hard tug on my arm with words yelling, Maddi, Maddi! Watch out! I didn't though, I felt paralyzed standing there, just like deer in headlights, I could hear the car brakes trying to stop, but the ice was too much. The car struck me, and the hand that was just recently holding my wrist wasn't there anymore. I lay there in pain, struggling for air to breath, and words to scream, but I couldn't. The corners of my sight got dark, I looked up to see a few silhouettes of faces, but nothing seemed to have distinguished as a real face, everything was blurry, and soon enough nothing was blurry. It was just dark. It was just calm.