Skeleton Bones - {Not Joshler} - COMPLETED

16 ;.; Losing Myself, Finding An Angel

Nobody cares if you're losing yourself....

It had been two months since I had come out of the Treatment Center.
It was doing really well. Emphasis on well. Everyday was mundane. Eat, take meds, do my work, eat, meds, work, sleep. Every. Single. Day. I was tired of the mundane.
I barely saw Josh, he was working his job at the hardware store, then going to gig with his band; House of Heroes, then going to college at night. He was busy and so I rarely saw him, even though he lived across the street. Sometimes, though he would stop by and say hi, or give me some food, or text me. He always said, "Tyler, if you ever need me, don't hesitate to text or call me..."

And I would always say, "Okay, I will." And he would say, "Are you sure?" Then I would reply, "Of course I will."

But lately that wasn't the case...

I've been needing him more than ever. My best friend. But I never called him or texted him. I buried myself in my work or writing music. I found my love of that during the Treatment Center.

It was a sticky warm Thursday night....

I sat in the bathroom, chocolate wrappers strewn around me. The voices were back. But the demon was gone, I was thankful for that. Luckily, it was because I had met Jenna, that did the trick. We had two dates, but nothing really took off. Now, here I am. Crying on my bathroom floor. Knowing that I'll never be okay. I'll be alone forever. The voices will never truly go away. The sad part is that, Blurryface was nowhere to be found. I'm kind of afraid when he shows up. He must've stayed in the dark realm for a long time. What if he's changed. 

My heart hurt, it felt heavy. I cried. I may or may not be drunk. I drank half a bottle of strawberry schnapps.

Hey Tyler! You'll never be good enough for anybody! The voices taunted. I had come up with a groundbreaking conclusion. One that made incredible sense.

The one you love will never love you back. A voice told me.
I had to admit I agreed with the voice. He would never love me.

I pulled my knees closer to my chest, my breath hitched in my throat. I had lost track of myself. Who was I am anymore? Who was I ever? Who am I? Why am I here? What is my purpose? These thoughts ran through my brain like thoroughbreds on the racetrack.

I grappled for my phone. The phone Josh bought for me.
I clicked on Josh's contact.

"Hello?" Josh said.

"Josh! I need you." I cried into the phone. If I was sober I would've never ever have done this. I was drunk.

"I'll be right there." Josh said and hung up.

Five minutes later I heard my front door open and heavy footsteps rush about. "Tyler?" Josh called.
"Up here." I said, my voice cracking. I heard Josh's heavy footsteps. Then the bathroom door swung open. Josh stood in the doorway, his face filled with concern. "Oh Tyler." He said sadly.
He knelt down beside me and pulled me into a hug. "Tell me what's wrong." Josh whispered into my hair. "Th-the v-voices are b-back." I stuttered, my heart beat heavily. I was terrified. Josh held me tighter, "I'm so sorry, Ty." He mumbled. Josh was silent then he said, "There's strength in the brokenness." He held my frail form and brushed his fingers through my hair.

"J-josh." I said quietly.

"Yes?" He said looking down on me. I took a deep breath before saying what I was about to say.

"I, I think I like you." I said breathlessly.

"Tyler..." He started quietly.